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Brainfarts

Martin

Active Member
Question: "If you could live forever, would you and why?"
Answer: "I would not live forever! , because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."

--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

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"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."

--Mariah Carey

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"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."

--Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.

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"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."

--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

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"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."

--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

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"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."

--Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.

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"Half this game is ninety percent mental."

--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark.

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"It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or another."

--George Bush, US President.

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"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"

--Lee Iacocca

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"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."

--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.

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"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."

--Keppel Enderbery.

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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."

--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina.

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"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."

--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman.

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Cheers, Martin :D
 
quite funny
sensible move to put only 1 George W Bush blooper otherwise the post would have gone on and on and on...
 
G W B IS a blooper. God just has not noticed his mistake yet :D

Good stuff Martin! Thanks for the chuckle :)

Regards
Sillywabbit
 
Hey, GWB isn't that damn funny if you live in the states. He's more like a venereal disease that we're all hoping someone will find the cure for and we can just ignore until it slowly faids away.

RaVeN
 
You should try living in the state that spawned him. I work in the office building that his dad's office is in, and speak any anti-Republican sentiments very, very quietly. Those secret service guys look really intense.
 
Yeah, GWB is certainly an embarrassment. :rolleyes: I bet it is tough living in Texas, Ashlea. Whew! Glad I'm a Virginian!

Those were pretty funny, but imagine being dumb enough to say such things....especially the Mariah carey quote...aakk!
 
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