• Welcome to BookAndReader!

    We LOVE books and hope you'll join us in sharing your favorites and experiences along with your love of reading with our community. Registering for our site is free and easy, just CLICK HERE!

    Already a member and forgot your password? Click here.

Excerpt from "Wild Hooves"

Tlou

New Member
Okay, I'm not really looking for a super thorough critique or anything. I just thought I'd give you a sneak peek at my latest book, "Wild Hooves". It is the second book of a series I am putting out called "The Pinto Mountain Series".

The first book of the series is called "Horse on the Loose". These books are youth fiction novels and are geared toward both girls and boys. They take place in the Rocky Mountains of Alberta, Canada and involve a lot of incidences based on my own life experiences with horses. Each book has a glossary in the back of horse and other farm terms so that kids who live in the city and are not horse-savvy can learn new terms.

Anyhow, this excerpt is from the middle of the book. "Wild Hooves" is not yet available for sale. It should be available come January 2009 if I can get everything together before then.

Thanks for Reading :)





The evening was completely silent and still when Danielle went out to check on the two horses before bed. She took a deep breath of the crisp mountain air, the unmistakable scent of horse wafting on the breeze. When he saw Danielle approach, Pride came to the fence hoping for a treat. Danielle smiled and stroked his velvet muzzle. She couldn't help but sigh as she wished the summer would never end. Danielle closed her eyes and imagined the soft mountain breeze skidding over Crystal Lake in the distance before making its way to her at the paddock, lifting her up until she was flying on it like a bird or a mystical butterfly.

Then it happened. Danielle opened her eyes and looked across the beautiful plain through her horse's ears, unaware that she was being watched. She caught two pinpricks of light just on the other side of the horse pen -- if it weren't for the light from the house reflecting in his eyes, she would never have seen the grey wolf standing in the evening shadows. Her heart immediately jumped into her throat. How long had been there? He stared right back at her. Should she try to stare him down or should she look away? She tried to swallow her fear but it stuck there in a painful lump. She couldn't choose to look away even if she had wanted to now -- he was holding her captive by his cold, wild stare. Was he rabid like the other farmers had thought? The words of her dad began running through her mind.

"These wolves may not have rabies but they've definitely proved themselves unafraid of humans. They've been coming really close to people's houses lately and they've been acting very aggressive."

Should she run? No, he was closer to her than she was to the house. And even in the shadowed dark she could plainly see that the trim, muscular wolf could easily outrun her with little effort. She was terrified, the sound of her heart pounding was threatening to make her go deaf. Even in her terror, though, there was something magically serene about this staring contest with the ghost-like wolf. He did not blink, could he hear her heart pounding as loudly as she could? Did he smell her fear?

The horses were the only dumb animals here; this wolf was intelligent. Just how intelligent, she would probably never know, but his steel, uncaring eyes were illuminated with the wisdom of hundreds of years. He was probably downwind of the horses, because they acted like nothing was out of the ordinary. They really were dumb animals, he was so close and yet they had absolutely no idea. Wolves preyed on small stock, like sheep, calves and foals. Pride was just a yearling but Lady Bug was with him. Was the wolf really planning on taking on two horses by himself? Suddenly a new thought washed over Danielle. She almost fell over in fright when it manifested in her mind.

He was not alone.

 
It's really good in my opinion. Though I did find this one mistake,"How long had been there? " should have a he or it between had and been it's probably just a typo but I thought I'd point it out. I really look forward to reading it!:D
 
Thanks! Did I mention the manuscript has not been to the editor yet? LOL! *blush* Thanks for pointing out the typo! :flowers:
 
It's fine not a problem. Though were do you think I could find a copy of the first book because I'm really interested in reading it!?!
 
Yep two, Peanut is the one in my avatar and there are a few pictures of the other one in my picture album on my profile with a few of my other pets .:D
 
That's awesome!
I never owned a goat but for some reason I ended up taking one to the local auction mart in my truck once. It was a mean little billy goat of some small breed and it was the meanest, stinkiest thing I ever met. I remember trying to get the dang thing into the truck without it sticking me with its sharp, long, curled horns. Hah! Hopefully Peanut and your other pets are nicer than that one was!
 
Well they don't have horns and are girls so they won't be stinky and were bottle fed sooooo they are extra nice.
a>
 
I'm not really looking for a super thorough critique or anything.
Cool. I've not been thorough. But I made some cuts. ;)

The evening was
[-]completely[/-] silent and still when Danielle went out to check on the [-]two[/-] horses before bed. She took a deep breath of [-]the[/-] crisp mountain air, the unmistakable scent of horse [-]wafting[/-] on the breeze. When he saw Danielle approach, Pride came to the fence hoping for a treat. Danielle smiled and stroked his velvet muzzle. She couldn't help but sigh as she wished the summer would never end. Danielle closed her eyes and imagined the soft mountain breeze [-]skidding[/-] over Crystal Lake in the distance before making its way to her at the paddock, lifting her up until she was flying on it like a bird[-] or a mystical butterfly.[/-]

Then it happened. Danielle opened her eyes and looked across the beautiful plain through her horse's ears
(!), unaware that she was being watched. She caught two pinpricks of light [-]just[/-] on the other side of the [-]horse[/-] pen -- if it weren't for the light from the house reflecting in his eyes, she would never have seen the grey wolf standing in the evening shadows. Her heart immediately jumped into her throat. [No, it didn't!] How long had [it] been there? He stared [-]right[/-] back at her. Should she try to stare him down or [-]should she[/-] look away? She tried to swallow her fear but it stuck there in a painful lump [dull old cliche]. She couldn't choose to look away even if she had wanted to [-]now[/-] -- he was holding her captive [-]by[/-][in] his cold, wild stare. Was he rabid like the other farmers had thought? [-]The words of her dad began running through her mind.[/-] Her dad's words ran through her mind.

"These wolves may not have rabies but they've definitely proved themselves unafraid of humans. They've been coming really close to people's houses lately and they've been acting very aggressive."
[Bit wooden]

Should she run? No, he was closer to her than she
[-]was[/-] to the house. And even in the [-]shadowed[/-] dark she could [-]plainly[/-] see that the trim, muscular wolf could [-]easily[/-] outrun her with little effort. She was terrified, [-]the sound of[/-] her heart pounding[-] was threatening to make her go deaf[/-]. Even in [-]her[/-] terror, though, there was something [-]magically[/-] serene about this staring contest with the ghost-like wolf. He did not blink. Could he hear her heart pound[-]ing[/-] as loud[-]ly[/-] as she could? Did he smell her fear?

The horses were the only dumb animals here; this wolf was intelligent. Just how intelligent, she would probably never know, but his steel, uncaring eyes were illuminated with the wisdom of
[centuries][-]hundreds of years[/-]. He was probably downwind of the horses, because they acted like nothing was out of the ordinary. They really were dumb animals. He was so close [-]and[/-] yet they had [-]absolutely[/-] no idea. Wolves preyed on small stock, like sheep, calves and foals. Pride was just a yearling but Lady Bug was with him. Was the wolf really planning on taking on two horses by himself? Suddenly a new thought washed over Danielle. She almost fell over in fright when it manifested in her mind. (!)

He was not alone.
 
Back
Top