Judge officially rules that Duke football sucks

[sparkchaser]

I don't think The Onion could have done a better job.

Judge agrees: Duke football as bad as it gets

Judge agrees: Duke football as bad as it gets

A Franklin, Ky., Circuit Court judge sided with a devilishly clever argument and ruled in favor of Duke University yesterday in a breach of contract lawsuit brought forth by the University of Louisville.

Judge Phillip J. Shepherd agreed with Duke's lawyers — the football team is so bad that any replacement would do.

U of L sued Duke for $450,000 — or a series with another Atlantic Coast Conference opponent — after the Blue Devils backed out of a four-game football contract with three dates remaining.

The contract called for a penalty of $150,000 per game if a date with a "team of similar stature" could not be arranged.

Duke's lawyers argued the Blue Devils, which have a record of 6-45 over the past five seasons, were so bad that any team would be a suitable replacement.

Judge Shepherd agreed in his summary:

"At oral argument, Duke (with a candor perhaps more attributable to good legal strategy than to institutional modesty) persuasively asserted that this is a threshold that could not be any lower. Duke’s argument on this point cannot be reasonably disputed by Louisville."

 

[SFG75]

Duke's basketball program is one of the best year in and year out. Their football team is bad. As they are division I, I wonder if they would argue that a division II team would be suitable.:lol: Imagine being the coach and players.

"Appalachian State is just as good as us your honor....if not better......"



:lol:

 

[GonzoCeltic]

Ah, Duke Football. Always in contention. . . for the worst in the NCAA. Well, they got a new coach (David Cutcliffe), so, um ah', I'll be praying for them to turn around the ship sometime over the next five years.