Lessons Learnt from watching TV

[fluffy bunny]

(stolen from another forum)

Well, people say you can't learn anything from TV/film- let's prove 'em wrong So what have you learnt from giving your bottom a rest?

Let's see-

From Star Trek, Never wear a red shirt

From the A-team- it's easy to construct a tank aout of stuff commonly found in garden sheds.

From Superman- fly around the world backwards fast enough, and you go back in time


So what have you learnt?

 

[Wabbit]

There is no limit to how dumb they can make the T.V shows and people will still watch them. Big brother and Jerry Springer, i'm looking at you, punks!

Regards
SillyWabbit

 

[VTChEwbecca]

Fluffy bunny, the Star Trek is way too true. My husband made a football team on Madden be "The Red Ensigns" and designed their uniforms to make them appear to be red ensigns. I designed "The Wookies" in all brown uniforms. My team slaughtered his team and I am terrible at that game (I'm great at chosing plays, its running my men around that gives me problems).

Let's see....its been a long time since I really watched any tv.

From COPS - Crawling underneath the mattress on a bed is not a good hiding place.

From Star Trek - Doctors are incapable of carrying out any task not related to medicine

From Dallas - It really all could have just been a dream

 

[bobbyburns]

from seinfeld: do not attempt to sneak a sandwich in while having sex.

from star trek: first and most importantly, find out how many klingons are attacking.

from curb your enthusiasm: don't cop a feel on your best friend's mom.

 

[Martin]

From Seinfeld: Do not wonder, openly, whether or not your current girlfriend's breasts are real. ("They're real, and they're spectacular!")

Again from Seinfeld: Do not forget your current girlfriend's name, and if - God forbid - you do, and she tells you it rhymes with an intimate part of the female anatomy, do not guess and call her Mulva.

From Cops: If you're fat, and about to rob or kill someone, wear a t-shirt.

From The A-Team: While driving down a highway, turn the steeringwheel left and right like a maniac.

From MacGyver: If you've got a bit of manure, a pocketknife, and a length of string, you can make a nuclear bomb.

Cheers, Martin

 

[bobbyburns]

hehe, nice.

 

[RaVeN]

From The Price Is Right- If you talk nicely about puppies and kitties you can get away sexual harassment.

RaVeN

 

[Stewart]

Some observations from watching American television...

• Most American girls have a hyphenated forename - Billy-Jo, Sue-Ellen, Ellie-May etc
• American "diners" are old railway carriages converted.
• Americans never lock their cars after pulling up outside a building.
• People never smoke in sit-coms
• People never pay to ride trams in San Francisco, they just hang on the outside.
• Aliens always land in a small town in Kansas where CNN can't get there quickly enough.
• Car tyres screech even on dirt roads.
• Fire engines have a steering wheel at the back and front
• The Sheriff in small towns chews tobacco and spits alot.
• When eating a meal, Americans never use a knife
• Apple or blueberry pie is a favourite desert.
• Newspapers are never posted in letterboxes, always thrown by a lad at speed on a bike.
• Large unattractive men marry beautiful women and large unattractive women marry John Goodman (or are single or lesbians...)
• People in New York don't spend any time at their jobs, but they can afford large beautiful apartments in the Village.
• Americans get endless free top-ups of coffee in restaurants and cafes
• You never pay at the cash till in bars or restaurants, just throw some money on the table when you leave.
• Ambulances are converted estate cars
• Petrol stations are not self service, you get a man who even cleans the windscreen and does the tyres.
• The Mayors in towns/cities are always corrupt.
• The space shuttle always stops 3 seconds before launch
• Steam comes out of manholes for some reason in New York.
• It never rains in Dallas (not in the TV prog anyway)
• Tramps always sleep next to a rubbish bin
• Flights into L.A. always get diverted to Salt Lake City due to fog.
• Police motorcyclists always fall off their bikes during a chase
• Nobody understood that "The A Team" were actually doing good things.
• All US school kids drive their own cars to school.
• There is an unwritten law that states you can't deactivate a bomb unless it's within three seconds of going off
• Films based on history always seem to portray a different version of actual events.
• High school romances never feature fat ugly kids.
• The lone hero can take on an army and win, everytime.
• Kids from the wrong side of the tracks always do good in the end
• When ordering beer in a bar, no one ever specifies a brand.
• All of life's problems fit in between the commercial breaks, and there is no crisis that can't be solved in 22 minutes.
• American solicitors are always Jewish.
• Vending machines never work unless kicked or thumped in a strategic place.
• After grocery shopping, there's always a loaf of French bread in the bag they walk in the door carrying.
• When a man proposes to a woman, the engagement ring always fits perfectly.
• When a car is on fire with someone trapped inside, they always manage to pull them out and get about 20 yards away and it blows up.
• Women in small towns are always baking apple pies.
• Cops always wear sunglasses, a hat, and gloves when pulling a car over.
• A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
• If staying in a haunted house, women always investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
• In the event of a car chase, there will be two men carrying a large pane of glass through the streets just begging for a car to drive through it.
• Megalomaniacs intent on world domination won't be able to resist telling their arch nemesis every detail of their evil plans.
• Dogs always know who's bad and will bark at them.
• If you think there is an intruder in your house, your cat will choose the precise moment to leap out at you from inside a cupboard.
• In school, teachers will always be interrupted mid-sentence by the end-of-class bell.
• Having a job of any kind will make fathers forget their son's eighth birthday.

 

[Ashlea]

Originally posted by Mile-O-Phile


[*]Newspapers are never posted in letterboxes, always thrown by a lad at speed on a bike.
.[*]Americans get endless free top-ups of coffee in restaurants and cafes
[*]You never pay at the cash till in bars or restaurants, just throw some money on the table when you leave.
[*]Petrol stations are not self service
[*]Steam comes out of manholes for some reason in New York.
[*]All US school kids drive their own cars to school.
[*]Films based on history always seem to portray a different version of actual events.
[*]American solicitors are always Jewish.
[*]Cops always wear sunglasses, a hat, and gloves when pulling a car over.
[/list]

The ones above are actually true, except for the full-service gas stations, which are quickly becoming a thing of the past. Also, the lad on a bike is a trifle older these days and delivers the paper in a car. And not all lawyers are Jewish, but it seems like an awful lot of them are. I drove my car to school once I turned 16, and was probably in the majority. I knew a couple kids who drove their car to drivers education.

 

[Halo]

From most soap operas (especially Eastenders): Anyone wanting a job will see a sign in a shop window, go in, and be instantly hired, without filling in an application form, having a formal interview, being asked about their work experience or supplying any references. They will then agree to start the next day, without hours, duties or pay being mentioned at all.

From Emmerdale: Everything in a village shop is priced at a nice round amount, eg £5 or £10, allowing the buyer to pay with a note and the shopkeeper not to have to bother with adding up a total or giving change. In fact, s/he will not even bother to tell the customer how much the shopping costs, leading to another lesson - shop customers are telepathic.

 

[third man girl]

[*]All US school kids drive their own cars to school.

I have fond memories of a boy in my year driving a bus to school. I believe he was expelled.

Third Man Girl