• Welcome to BookAndReader!

    We LOVE books and hope you'll join us in sharing your favorites and experiences along with your love of reading with our community. Registering for our site is free and easy, just CLICK HERE!

    Already a member and forgot your password? Click here.

New Poem--The Bite

Vespertilio91

Vespertilio91

New Member
The Bite

Watching over the tranquil city,
My vigil for prey.
Some beauty to cross my path
While the moon will stay.
Stalking her so stealthily
Until I make my mark
And change my beauty, just like me;
A creature of the dark.

That horrid transformation
That few can endure,
But if they; oh, if they do
They'll live without a cure;
For the hellish cycle of
The moon will torment her.
The transformation will take place
At the round Lunar.

Oh, but if I don't take a chance
And take that cur-sed bite,
Then I will wither into dust;
But that won't make it right.
Should I bite, or should I die?
For I'm afraid of both
Consequences that will return
To spawn the werewolves' growth.

I can't figure out how to put in accents. (cursed/cur-sed) Can someone tell me?

Ok, the normal comments, reviews, etc. (I'm really getting tired of writing that. :) )​
 
You really do have a thing for Vampires don't you?:D Here's an interview with a writer of vampire books which you may find interesting : Interview

Oh, as to the reviewing the work thing - i'm more of an enthusiastic reader rather than a critical one, which means i enjoy your writing, but probably am not the best person to give advice on the nuts and bolts.
 
some insite

this was a good poem
I like how it tells a story
I pesonaly would like to have seen it rhyme
rhyme would have made it seem a legend passed down for generations, know what I mean
it was real interesting

4 stars
 
I liked it. LOVE vampire poems--was this inspired in any way, shape, or form by Hellsing? *big grin* The first thing I thought of when I saw it was "bite to drink" LOL.
 
Because of this poem, I'm going to start reading the The Historian tonight. It's been on my TBR list for a while. Keep the vampire poems coming. They're great.
 
Vespertilio91 said:
To spawn the werewolves' growth.
Click to expand...
It's a werewolf poem! I'd wanted something different to write about. It started out as a vampire poem, but I changed it. And I think it rhymes. Yep, every four lines, Stig. Not inspired by Hellsing, but another one I posted was.
 
I know, just parts of it reminded me of Hellsing a bit. ^^ I didn't mean to say just "vampire." I meant to say vampire/werewolf but my stupid mind forgot to add the werewolf.
 
Oh yes - 'To spawn the werewolves' = werewolves not vampires, d'oh! Sorry, i'm not the brightest lightbulb in the pack.:D

I think somewhere along the line, I pigeon holed you (why does that sound like something filthy?) into being a vampire only writer - now I know better.
 
But, aren't vampires and werewolves connected?

I'm still reading The Historian (have you read it?), so I check back in here every once in a while to read your poetry because it shares that same vibe.
 
sirmyk said:
But, aren't vampires and werewolves connected?

I'm still reading The Historian (have you read it?), so I check back in here every once in a while to read your poetry because it shares that same vibe.
Click to expand...
To me, they are connected, but not nearly the same.

I have The Historian on hold at the library and am waiting for it to come in. So many good comments plus vampires, I have to try it.
 
reply

I enojyed this poem and after reading the succesive comments I like the idea stigmaticman said about
making it more legend like
Click to expand...
. The rhyming definetly ads a quality of that sort to it. It seems to me though as too short, I wanted to know more about the wareworlf and his world. How and when did he become a wearwolf? For how long? Who is the girl he is stalking? Does he know her? It would b great if there was some sort of history between them, perhaps a love story. The way the stanza's and rhyme are used already point towards perhaps editing it to become a much longer, epic poem.

What do you think?
 
I like the idea. I'll have to dig deeper to create more, but hopefully I can post The Bite part deux. What do you all think?
 
Vespertilio91 said:
I can't figure out how to put in accents. (cursed/cur-sed) Can someone tell me?
Click to expand...

Well, I know you can use alt key to enter accented vowels. See here. It works on windows machines. You hold the alt key while you type number combinations on the number panel.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top