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Stuck at the start

E

*~EMMER~*

New Member
im planning a story off and i have the first little section written out but im not sure whether i should write it in 1st person or 3rd. Its about a girl called alex, who will eventually die in the end, but i want to do a little bit at the end with her funeral and what her boyfriend says at the funeral. could i suddenly change into 3rd person once she is dead?? im not sure if u can or not. Also the whole story is very gory, she slits her wrists and things, so im also thinking it would be good to see her feelings when she does these things, like how the knife feels against her skin. i need opinions on which angle to write it at.
Please help
*~EMMER~*
 
Ok here's the first paragraphs in both styles. enjoy and tell me one you think i should write in.

1st person:
I ran through the playground towards the main gates by the front of school. My cold tears stung my face, and my hair clung infront of my eyes, blinding me. Everyone was looking at me, but what did i care? I just needed to get away.
"Alex! Alex wait!"
Charlie's voice rang through the courtyard. Why was he following me? i know he was meant to be my friend and i know he meant well. Couldn't he see i wanted to be alone? I carried on running towards the gates, though my steps were somewhat shorter, and my pace less quick.
Just as i reached the gates a hand grabbed my arm and swung me round, nearly making me loose my footing.There was charlie, staring at me, his breath fast and shallow.
"what's wrong alex? why didn't you stop when i called you?"

3rd person:
Alex ran through the playground towards the main gates. Her blonde hair stuck to her wet face as she cried. Faces turned towards her as she ran past, but she paid them no attention. She just wanted to get away.
"Alex! Alex wait!"
Charlie's voice rang through the courtyard as he chased after her. Alex cursed to herself as his voice reached her ears. Couldn't he see she wanted to be alone? why did he always have to follow her around? she knew she was his friend, but that didnt mean they had to be together all the time. she had other friends too. Alex carried on running in her bid for freedom, though her pace slowed considerably.
Charlie eventually caught up with her and grabbed her arm, swinging her round to face him.
"What's wrong alex? why didn't you stop when i called you?"

!!Thats all folks!!
 
i didn't really see much difference between the two style. they boh kinda sounded similar. if u gonna use first person then u should make more use of that technique.

wiv first person u can show a persons feelings and thoughts better. the start of it didn't ring true to me - "I ran through the playground towards the main gates by the front of school" this girl is upset and if its her POV then why does it just sound like directions. if u use first person then make better use of it.

But saying that, o also think that you did create a nice little scene there what i like to call to call 'action scene' cos something is happening and the reader can 'see' it rather then the reader being told that this is what is happening.
 
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