Search results

does anyone have an comments?? might be helpful

KC still remembered how blue the sky had been that day. At that precise moment. It's funny what the brain decides to remember in greatest detail. You would think, perhaps, that KC's brain would have taken a mental snapshot of the million metallic shards flying all around in a deadly hail. Or...

Sorry i meant less dialogue :o silly me :p

i read Northern Lights, the first book of the his dark materials trilogy, when i was in year 7... thats when i was 11. i didnt understand the theology until much leter but i definately enjoyed the story line and so did a lot of the other kids who read it. It's a good book for older children, and...

Ive been told that my characters lack personality and i try reli hard to develop them and make them seem much more real ... bute i cant. I write down their thoughts and feelings and shock but i cant give them any depth. Does anyone have a certain way they let the audience relate with the...

Spoiler alert for Eldest!!! i agree that he has totally and utterly stolen things from the Anne McCaffrey chronicles. but then there aren't all that many books on dragons and you cant exactly study the living thing can you? i suppose he needed some inspiration for the book and read books with...

For a 13 year old i reckon is pretty good. Though i agree you do need more dialogue. also tom got hit by a bullet 2 or 3 times and still managed to walk around for the rest of the story. when you write something into the story like that you should bring it up throughout the story. like the...

Im a bit younger than you inkheart but ive just started writing again. Wish i had never stopped though. More you write the better you get... its dark chocolate eyebrow seemed to be raised questioningly i agree that questioningly doesnt quite work. but if you only put seemed to be raised...

Ok here's the first paragraphs in both styles. enjoy and tell me one you think i should write in. 1st person: I ran through the playground towards the main gates by the front of school. My cold tears stung my face, and my hair clung infront of my eyes, blinding me. Everyone was looking at...

I thought this one wasnt as well written as the others. I prefered the mad, shouting harry to dumblodores golden boy who is always perfect and has the perfect girlfriend and the quidditch captain and the teachers pet i mean come on, there was loads of action in the first 5 books, this one was...

im planning a story off and i have the first little section written out but im not sure whether i should write it in 1st person or 3rd. Its about a girl called alex, who will eventually die in the end, but i want to do a little bit at the end with her funeral and what her boyfriend says at the...

i read all three and im about to re read them. I think they are all good page turners. i have to admit, i was 13 when i read sabriel and i got nightmares hehehe i scare easily. anyway i thought you might want to know theres another out now. Its really really short, but still just as good as...

its too confusing I tried to read the Silmarillion but i couldn't manage it. It was all descriptions and i got really confused with all the characters it involved. I will try to read it again somtime though, perhaps in the summer holidays.

actually its hot with no sun :confused: how very wierd and im ill at the moment so its not very nice being inside and hot To pigeon erm favourite books??? gotta be.. his dark materials by phillip pullman, The ropemaker by peter dickinson, The wind on fire trilogy by william nicholson...

thanks anymore? Thanks for your input Halo!! Im glad you wanted to know what happened to her, i always think theres no point reading something unless u want to know what happens. I have to admit honestly here that i totally forgot about my paragraph :S sorry if it hurt your eyes. i...

I've been on here for a week or so but i only just found this forum so i thought i would introduce myself lol. i'm emmer im 15 and i live in England where its always wet. hehehehe. i love reading (obviously) and i've been searching for a good forum for ages. i personally like fantasy...

well i really liked your story sanyuja. i got a really good picture in my mind though i have to agree with monkey about the coffee bit. i couldn't get an image in my mind with the cups or the cafe. and i got a bit confused with the marriage thing with her parents. it's a good ending. you want...

Thanks for leaving me a message. im glad you found it interesting. As to your idea about putting it first person. I can't really do that because later on in the book, i meet more characters, and i want to express their feelings aswell as aricas. i just really want to know if you feel as though...

im writing this in my spare time when im not at school and i need people input to help me improve this section of the first chapter. please please post ur ideas. Arica stumbled through the woods as sobs shook her body. The enclosed trees tried to trip her with thorns and brambles as she...