bobbyburns
New Member
go away, you.
-
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1002 Things To Do With a bobbyburns
- Thread starter novella
- Start date
Ou Be Low hoo
New Member
Hey bobbyb...
I'm an idiot and I'm lazy...what is all this '1002 Things To Do With a bobbyburns' shenanegans?
I await your Martini Extra Dry reply...
Ting ting.
OBLh
I'm an idiot and I'm lazy...what is all this '1002 Things To Do With a bobbyburns' shenanegans?
I await your Martini Extra Dry reply...
Ting ting.
OBLh
bobbyburns
New Member
why don't you **** off?
Ou Be Low hoo
New Member
bobbyburns said:
Tssssssssssssssss...the fire in my eyes is as cold as an erupting volcano of ice.
Back to the books for me...It is you that knows the truth. Live in your dreams. Miaow.
bobbyburns
New Member
eat shit and live.
Ou Be Low hoo
New Member
Fecal matter is not favoured by those frivalous to fancy...
bobbyburns
New Member
you're a babbling brook of bullshit.
Ou Be Low hoo
New Member
Our onamatopeic opera is obviously oblivious to obsessive onions.
The use of 'onamatopeia' is obviously there for ironic purposes...I of course know it should be 'alliteration'.
As you were...
The use of 'onamatopeia' is obviously there for ironic purposes...I of course know it should be 'alliteration'.
As you were...
bobbyburns
New Member
stop defining yourself through contrast and contention.
novella
Active Member
O great. First I am really down in the dumps over what happened. I can't believe bobbyburns didn't win the election, after all that work. Bumper stickers, T-shirts, voodoo dolls, poison arrows, tampering. You can't buy votes for donuts anymore, you know. I poured my blood into that campaign. And he promised me I'd be ambassador to Malta, with a full healthcare package and some slaves and my own F-14.
And now this. Some dork has shat all over my bailiwick here. I guess the mods will knock his balls into a side pocket in due course, as he is not only irrelevant and stupid (me guilty) but also tiresome, rude, crass, and terribly terribly terribly out of synch with the Weltanschauung of this thread.
And now this. Some dork has shat all over my bailiwick here. I guess the mods will knock his balls into a side pocket in due course, as he is not only irrelevant and stupid (me guilty) but also tiresome, rude, crass, and terribly terribly terribly out of synch with the Weltanschauung of this thread.
novella
Active Member
Care and Feeding of cacti bobbyburnsium
The rare species cacti bobbyburnsium is known for its unique form. Said to be "giving someone the finger," this little cactus has been banned in Kansas for ethical reasons.
It is a hideous white color, bulbous, extremely thorny, and extrudes a toxic, malordorous milk-like substance, but this precious beauty will reward the right gardener with one spectacular flower every seventeen months. But be careful, all you green thumbs out there--the flower is carnivorous, with large teeth and a hairy purple center. Reminds me of a certain busdriver I knew as a child. Ah, yes. Rodney. One hand on the wheel, I remember it well. But that's another tale for another time.
Note the hackysack-like texture of its skin and the icky bits sticking out.
If cacti could talk, this one might be saying, "Hey, you, sit on it!"
What a rude little succulent!
Oh ho ho, we do have a good time at the botanical gardens, rolling in the dirt and whatnot!
The rare species cacti bobbyburnsium is known for its unique form. Said to be "giving someone the finger," this little cactus has been banned in Kansas for ethical reasons.
It is a hideous white color, bulbous, extremely thorny, and extrudes a toxic, malordorous milk-like substance, but this precious beauty will reward the right gardener with one spectacular flower every seventeen months. But be careful, all you green thumbs out there--the flower is carnivorous, with large teeth and a hairy purple center. Reminds me of a certain busdriver I knew as a child. Ah, yes. Rodney. One hand on the wheel, I remember it well. But that's another tale for another time.
Note the hackysack-like texture of its skin and the icky bits sticking out.
If cacti could talk, this one might be saying, "Hey, you, sit on it!"
What a rude little succulent!
Oh ho ho, we do have a good time at the botanical gardens, rolling in the dirt and whatnot!
Bobbyburns was on the ballot and nobody told me? Boy, now I'm mad...
novella
Active Member
Trendwatch: burnsian topiary coiffure
Recently spotted in the putrid yet romantic back alleys of Paris, young trendolinos astride mopeds, their copious hair in shapes such as teddy bears, swans, bunnies, and zoo animals. Some geometrics were spied, including the bb "Original Pyramid" from 1999 and the bb "Trapazoid with Doodads" from 2002, a departure from strict geometry which preceded the current animal forms. bobbyburns himself finds that "critter coifs" work best for concealing oneself at a woodland edge or behind thick shrubbery.
Recently spotted in the putrid yet romantic back alleys of Paris, young trendolinos astride mopeds, their copious hair in shapes such as teddy bears, swans, bunnies, and zoo animals. Some geometrics were spied, including the bb "Original Pyramid" from 1999 and the bb "Trapazoid with Doodads" from 2002, a departure from strict geometry which preceded the current animal forms. bobbyburns himself finds that "critter coifs" work best for concealing oneself at a woodland edge or behind thick shrubbery.
bobbyburns
New Member
I think you misunderstood my prowess.
novella
Active Member
Jack and the Beans Talk
A fresh-faced lad, let's call him Jack, was sent by his poorly mum to bring the cow to market so that they could buy some yucky groats and survive the winter sitting on hard stools in the dark complaining. The boy was a bumpkin, a punter, and a sucker, and so immediately sold his cow to a witch for a small handful of bobbyburns beans.
The beans were like nothing the lad had ever seen, bright orange with little blue spots, happy little beans were they. The witch told him to only use one bean at a time, or consequences would happen.
The boy felt sure he had made a fair deal, buying the magic beans. But as soon as the witch turned yonder corner with cow, the boy knew he would get his ass whupped by mum as soon as she saw what he had done. So instead of going home, he went into the forest and sat next to a rock until he was very cold and hungry. He ate some wild mushrooms growing in a moist lump, deciding that he’d either live or die as a result, and that was okay, and then he lay down to sleep.
Much to his surprise, he did not sleep but felt a tingling in his brain. And before his eyes the magic beans grew into giant yet friendly orange and blue creatures who told him interesting secrets and danced with him among the ancient oaks, making elf-like noises and swirling in the leaves and stars. The boy was happy.
He and his special leguminous friends took up residence in the woods, eating mushrooms now and then and occasionally bringing some fungi into town to sell to curious schoolchildren. Then they would buy some delicious packaged sandwiches, perhaps a string of linked sausages, and with the rest invest in superior electronic equipment to improve their woodland sound system.
And so the boy lived, until, like Dennis Hopper before him, he decided he wanted to direct, so he brushed the leaf mold out of his ears, straightened out his act, and went to Hollywood. And he carried the magic bobbyburns beans in his pocketses ever after, whispering to them in the quiet of the evening on his shady lanai.
The End
A fresh-faced lad, let's call him Jack, was sent by his poorly mum to bring the cow to market so that they could buy some yucky groats and survive the winter sitting on hard stools in the dark complaining. The boy was a bumpkin, a punter, and a sucker, and so immediately sold his cow to a witch for a small handful of bobbyburns beans.
The beans were like nothing the lad had ever seen, bright orange with little blue spots, happy little beans were they. The witch told him to only use one bean at a time, or consequences would happen.
The boy felt sure he had made a fair deal, buying the magic beans. But as soon as the witch turned yonder corner with cow, the boy knew he would get his ass whupped by mum as soon as she saw what he had done. So instead of going home, he went into the forest and sat next to a rock until he was very cold and hungry. He ate some wild mushrooms growing in a moist lump, deciding that he’d either live or die as a result, and that was okay, and then he lay down to sleep.
Much to his surprise, he did not sleep but felt a tingling in his brain. And before his eyes the magic beans grew into giant yet friendly orange and blue creatures who told him interesting secrets and danced with him among the ancient oaks, making elf-like noises and swirling in the leaves and stars. The boy was happy.
He and his special leguminous friends took up residence in the woods, eating mushrooms now and then and occasionally bringing some fungi into town to sell to curious schoolchildren. Then they would buy some delicious packaged sandwiches, perhaps a string of linked sausages, and with the rest invest in superior electronic equipment to improve their woodland sound system.
And so the boy lived, until, like Dennis Hopper before him, he decided he wanted to direct, so he brushed the leaf mold out of his ears, straightened out his act, and went to Hollywood. And he carried the magic bobbyburns beans in his pocketses ever after, whispering to them in the quiet of the evening on his shady lanai.
The End
hay82
Active Member
First of all I would like to say that I love this thread Novella, it has been very helpfull to me and I have gotten lots of ideas about what to do with my bobbyburns.
I can't wait for the "1015 things to do with a Freya" edition, because, yes I admit it, I have both a Bobbyburns and a Freya and they don't seem to go together. I tried putting the Freya in the corner of my apartment but the in order to keep the room feng shui I had to move my Bobbyburns to the kitchen and we all know that a bobbyburns in the kitchen is a bad idea. I then tried to move the freya to center of the room but I then had to move the bobbyburns to the garden and build a fountain next to it, and I do unfortunatly have the cheap version of the bobbyburns so it can't stand the water from the fountain.
So I now have the problem that I don't know how to place my freya and bobbyburns in order to keep it feng shui. Hope that that will be mentioned in "1015 things to do with a Freya".
Hay
I can't wait for the "1015 things to do with a Freya" edition, because, yes I admit it, I have both a Bobbyburns and a Freya and they don't seem to go together. I tried putting the Freya in the corner of my apartment but the in order to keep the room feng shui I had to move my Bobbyburns to the kitchen and we all know that a bobbyburns in the kitchen is a bad idea. I then tried to move the freya to center of the room but I then had to move the bobbyburns to the garden and build a fountain next to it, and I do unfortunatly have the cheap version of the bobbyburns so it can't stand the water from the fountain.
So I now have the problem that I don't know how to place my freya and bobbyburns in order to keep it feng shui. Hope that that will be mentioned in "1015 things to do with a Freya".
Hay
novella
Active Member
Obviously, Hay, you are a person of refined sensibilities. Which naturally leads me to wonder why you have settled for a cut-rate bobbyburns. Many of those early offcuts were mislabelled "boobyburns" and rejected outright because of their tendency to show metal fatigue in high winds, though several later turned up at fleamarkets throughout Europe. I had one myself for a while, but in reupholstering one of the legs I discovered that the innards were not quite what they should have been.
I have long campaigned for a "boobyburns burning" to finally eliminate these poor-quality versions from the market.
At least your Freya is sound.
I have long campaigned for a "boobyburns burning" to finally eliminate these poor-quality versions from the market.
At least your Freya is sound.
hay82
Active Member
Yes my Freya is excellent and I must say that it is just an excellent item. The reason I have the cheap version of bobbyburns is that I bought it right after I moved from my parents and that was the only one I could afford, and after all a home isn't really a home without a bobbyburns.
Anyway I have decided to get a new bobbyburns. So if anyone out there need a cheap bobbyburn to give their home that little extra something then I have one for sale.
Anyway I have decided to get a new bobbyburns. So if anyone out there need a cheap bobbyburn to give their home that little extra something then I have one for sale.