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Family/legal issue

Ashlea

Ashlea

New Member
I have this great aunt who is well on the way to senility. She is just about completely blind and mostly deaf, and says hateful things at the top of her lungs frequently, so she's alienated my dad (her nephew) and her sister who lives in New Mexico, her 2 closest relatives, neither one of them will talk to her. The people at my mom's church have been taking care of her, driving her to get groceries and whatnot, but she frequently screams at them too, and they are getting worried and, I'm sure, sick of it, though they've put up with more than I certainly would.

The problem is, of course, that she refuses to go to a home. It is inevitable that she will eventually fall down and no one will find her for 2 days, or else set the house on fire, or poison herself with improperly cooked food. Since she has not transferred a power of attorney to anyone, so what are the legal options? I assume that there is either an elder care authority that will evaluate her, or else there will have to be a competency hearing or something. Anyone have any legal insight to this sort of situation?

I should also note that she lives in my smallish hometown, a couple hours away from Houston, and I'm not sure what the resources are in that area.
 
I have no legal insight for you, but am going through the same situation. We're fortunate to have power of attorney (given without any problems due to extremity of mental health) so things are taken care of now, but it's still not easy to deal with.

I hope your family can get things taken care of quickly and without too much stress to everyone. Good luck
 
I think you might need to get a couple of doctors to agree that it's dangerous for her to be out on her own and that she's incapable of making reasoned choices. A bit like when you get someone committed. I know that over here, people with no family, who live alone sometimes get put in homes by the local authorities after complaints from neighbours and the like.

If you have a local or national charity that deals with the elderly, I'd give them a ring and ask. Over here, Help The Aged are very useful at letting you know what your options and rights are. They'll also put you in touch with support groups, local homes, day centres and maybe some additional home help that can just pop in from time to time to check up on her until you get her all sorted out.
 
You should do a search in newsgroups and find a legal newsgroup and ask your question there. If you, for some reason, don't have access to newsgroups then do a search with Google to find a web based legle forum or search with your question in google groups For somebody has already asked such a question in one of the newsgroups.

Good luck :)
 
I really feel for you, having gone through this situation with my grandmother years ago. It's very difficult emotionally, especially when illness makes someone act out in painful ways, but remember it is the illness speaking, so show lots of patience.

As for help, based on my experience, here are some suggestions --

Check with Medi-care or your state's version of Medi-care -- your family member might be eligible for at least a part-time caregiver; someone who can come in daily or several times a week to make sure she bathes, takes any medication she needs, cook, and do a little light housework, as well as just be there and check on her.

The national Alzheimer Association or your local Area Agency on Aging might be able to provide you with information about power of attorney and other resources available to help manage your relatives affairs and get her the help she needs.

Someone in the family should consult with her doctor, and if she hasn't been for awhile, get her to a doctor by any means necessary. There may be medications that can help her and she may underlying problems that are masked by her senility.

Your local senior center is a good place to check for local resources such as Adult Day Care and services such as health screenings, legal referals, mental health assistance, etc.

Meals-on-Wheels not only provides nutritional food and someone who can check on your relative during the week, but it would also keep her away from the stove, which is probably the greatest danger to her in her present condition.

I know in California it's very difficult to get help for someone with mental health problems. There has been so much concern over the years about the poor treatment of the mentally ill that there is now a fine line where help is available -- something like between the time a gun is fired and the time the bullet hits someone. Hopefully, it's easier in other states to get help.

I wish you the very best of luck through this difficult time.

Irene Wilde
 
Thank you for the advice and kind words.

I've sent an email to a governmental agency that deals with the aging, so hopefully they'll have some insight. I would much rather someone else starts the legal process (such as said agency) as she is going to be spewing curses at that person for quite some time. At the very least, maybe they'll send someone to check on her periodically. I know there would be good resources available in the city, but in the small town she's in, they tend to let the churches and so forth take care of it.
 
bobbyburns said:
ashlea, will you be mad if I make a joke?
Click to expand...

Nah, if I didn't have a sense of humor about my relatives I would've butchered the lot some time ago.
 
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