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I need advice on my writing...

Discussion in 'Sci-Fi, Fantasy, & Horror Books' started by Guy Lozier, Aug 15, 2018.

?

Is my work good...

  1. Best of the Best

  2. Very Good

  3. Average

  4. Poor

  5. Weak

  6. Bad

Results are only viewable after voting.
  1. Guy Lozier

    Guy Lozier New Member

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    In the past I have not asked for help with my writing styles as I liked my writing style and did not desire to hear any disparity of my work. Today I have grown understanding of other's views and so now desire some input as to how well I have done.

    Here is a small bit from my book 'Menazia Reborn' which is book one of 'The Millennial Cycles' series...

    The main character is a strong female lead role, ancient and magical but from another dimension, she is the queen of her people and will do whatever it takes to keep them and earth safe from the evil Darbless...

    "The common days had passed, even many. The ever-flowing music of life, sometimes to wonder, is this day enough? The question, what purpose to continue? When a life goes on for hundreds and hundreds of years, maturing into thousands, when does the day begin to dull? When does the music fall on deaf ears? As these thoughts painted my soul, a fleeting shadow of future moments touched my mind. Like a voice, grinding through silence, tore back the curtain of indifference. Something was coming. I could feel it pulsing just beyond my senses. A destiny called to me. I knew in that moment that a voice from the future was whispering my name. It beckoned to me from the shadows, as if my thoughts were erasing it from history. A tear pushed forth to reveal my weakness. I pulled myself from the depths of antiquity. I cleared my throat, coughing the dust of despair that had sought to choke me, pulling me into its temptations. His voice drew me from the abyss of eternity that haunted my existence."

    https://guylozier.com/

    https://www.amazon.com/…/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_hsch_vapi_tkin_p
     
  2. regdog

    regdog Moderator Staff Member

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    I had to read it a couple of times because some of the beginning sentences are a bit awkward, but the rest is good.
     
  3. Guy Lozier

    Guy Lozier New Member

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    Thanks for the input regdog...I appreciate you taking your time to assist me...
     
  4. regdog

    regdog Moderator Staff Member

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    You're welcome
     

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