Someone tell me this.

[Halo]

Yes, people do need to stand up to bullies, but they shouldn't have to do it on this forum, as bullying (offensive, aggressive etc.) behaviour is against the rules. People need to learn not to bully others on this forum.

 

[Ya Krunk'd Floo]

Do you really not see that forcing people to behave in a manner prescribed by you is also bullying?

 

[Shade]

I know you're just using King as an example, Halo, but let's stick with him for the time being as he's one of the authors mentioned early in this thread, and sirmyk in particular mentioned that he feared being called an idiot for praising his books.

The main Stephen King discussion thread is here. In it, King's writing has been denigrated (to one degree or another) by lies, Tobytook, Stewart, Litany, Worm, Folly, and me. In that thread none of King's critics made any adverse comment on anyone who enjoys his books.

There's another King thread here, where his main critic is jay, who again doesn't call anyone an idiot or similar for enjoying King - though curiously, jay gets called a Pain in the Ass by a King fan.

There's a further King thread here, where again jay is his main critic. Again jay is called "hot air balloon head" and his comments "smartass" and "moronic" (at the same time, apparently). Only after this does he respond in kind with a "moronic" jibe of his own.

There's another thread for King here, which - shock horror! - contains no criticism of his work at all!

And another one here, which also contains no critical comments on King, his books or his readers.

And finally (I stopped looking after this) a thread here, where everyone lists their least favourite King books, so it's full of adverse comments on his writing and books, but again no personal insults to his fans.

Maybe King was just a bad example? I'll check out others...

 

[Kookamoor]

Do you really not see that forcing people to behave in a manner prescribed by you is also bullying?

If we were on the street or these discussions were in the media I might be able to debate this with you. But this is a private forum for members only to post on and has a list of rules that you agree to when you sign up. Consequently, mods are just enforcing the rules you already agreed to.

 

[SFG75]

Martin, the gist of your argument is that certain members should modify their behavior - and consequently their personality - because some people get scared when they are goosed to say boo to...wait a minute, that's not right! Let me try again...because some people get scared by a little goose...? Nope, that's not it either...OK, one more try...because some people feel threatened by people disagreeing with them! That's it! Hoo-rah! What a shame your argument makes about as much sense as a tree eating peanuts...

Difficult personalities isn't the problem. We've had a problem with people getting too personal, which is not something this board was created for. Disagree with a person on the points of a given topic. Don't delve into ruminations on their intelligence, or matters of their personal lives. When the mods have stepped in, it has been to stop flagrant violations of the user agreement.

I have a problem believing that when it comes to certain individuals, that the moderators and everyone who feels that the given person is in the wrong is entirely mistaken about the matter. It isn't about *meakness* or anything of the sort. It's about appropriateness and lines that should not be crossed that are. I don't mind people disagreeing with me, it's those that make it personal and maliciously malign my personal life or those involved in it that gets my goat. This forum is about higher debate and conversation, yet we have folks who get nasty and personal and who miss the bar of intelligent conversation. The mods do a very good job and they really don't step in all that much. I'm a member of a debate board and what goes on here is largely untouched by the mods. This is one of the most "hands-off" boards that I've been on.

 

[Stewart]

I think the one thing we are yet to see is actual quotations, with sources, that represent the bullying. I think people can't make the division between themselves and the books they read.

 

[cajunmama]

Martin, the gist of your argument is that certain members should modify their behavior - and consequently their personality - ...

Behavior and personality are two totally different things. Personality is who you are and behavior is what you do. I could be a very angry person inside- that is my personality, but that doesn't mean I get to beat my kids up. Behavior is something you can control, out of respect for other people, society or yourself.

 

[jenn]

I think people can't make the division between themselves and the books they read.

i think this is true. what people read, or watch or listen to, any of their hobbies are things that are personal and important to some. they feel it is a reflection of their personalities, not the whole personality, just a piece. so if a book is judged harshly or an author is judged harshly then yes i can see how they might take it personally.

 

[Kenny Shovel]

Before joining here I was a member of another book board that had some pretty in-depth debates as well as the occasional outbreak of spam. I left mainly as I just didn't have time, and perhaps on occasion the inclination, to post the same level of insightful, informed, thoughts, as often as I would have liked.
When I look back I can remember that along with all the dissecting of classics and cut and thrust over recent releases there were always plenty of threads on more mainstream popular work. Whilst there was always criticism put forward against the Dan Browns and J R Rowling’s of this world I was never given the impression that anyone was trying to do so from a feeling of intellectual superiority; this despite the fact that the standard of debate was in general higher than I tend to see here. On this forum I’m often left with the impression that posts say far more about the person making them than they contribute towards an enlightening debate.

On a side issue, I get the feeling I missing out on some history that is being raked over here. I may be missing the mark, but are Martin & Stewart ex-lovers whose passion has turned sour? I think we should be told.

 

[Stewart]

I may be missing the mark, but are Martin & Stewart ex-lovers whose passion has turned sour? I think we should be told.

No, Martin's an ex moderator who abuses the power, something I totally disagree with. He would close - or delete others' posts from - threads that he started because he saw them as being his threads to do with as he pleased. On his second stint as moderator he made claims about the quantity of reviews he had written which, when novella investigated, turned out to be a 100% hit rate of plagiarised reviews. I neither trust or respect him.

 

[Stewart]

if a book is judged harshly or an author is judged harshly then yes i can see how they might take it personally.

But you can also see why they shouldn't take it personally?

 

[Ya Krunk'd Floo]

Behavior and personality are two totally different things. Personality is who you are and behavior is what you do. I could be a very angry person inside- that is my personality, but that doesn't mean I get to beat my kids up. Behavior is something you can control, out of respect for other people, society or yourself.

Of course, but our physical representations in cyber-space are based on our verbose perfomance - 'behavior' - which correlates with our projected self-image - 'personality'.

 

[cajunmama]

Of course, but our physical representations in cyber-space are based on our verbose perfomance - 'behavior' - which correlates with our projected self-image - 'personality'.

True, but we have total power of said projected self-image and our behavior. And some behavior is uneccessary and serves no useful purpose.

 

[jenn]

But you can also see why they shouldn't take it personally?

oh of course. i didn't write the stand, it's not about me, i just liked it. so you if you said it is a steaming pile of shit and here is why, that would not offend me. but i know you a bit better now. in truth, if you said that too me back in feb. i would have been hurt. but i have grown as a forum user.

*this is an example, stewart and i have never discussed the stand and i have no clue if he does in fact think it is a steaming pile of shit*

 

[Stewart]

we have total power of said projected self-image and our behavior.

What if, for example, my strong accent plays havoc with my voice recognition software and what I mean to say doesn't come out quite right?

 

[Stewart]

stewart and i have never discussed the stand and i have no clue if he does in fact think it is a steaming pile of shit*

Having never read it, I couldn't possibly comment. I used to read King when I was young but I started to go off his books when I was about 20 or 21.

 

[Ya Krunk'd Floo]

True, but we have total power of said projected self-image and our behavior. And some behavior is uneccessary and serves no useful purpose.

It's only unnecessary to the people who feel it's unnecessary and it only serves no useful purpose for the people who feel that way, too.

 

[cajunmama]

What if, for example, my strong accent plays havoc with my voice recognition software and what I mean to say doesn't come out quite right?

Then, my dear, you have a problem.

 

[jenn]

well you should read it then. it is really, really good. and when you have i will tell you why.

 

[cajunmama]

It's only unnecessary to the people who feel it's unnecessary and it only serves no useful purpose for the people who feel that way, too.

We live in a world where we interact with other people and we need to take into account the effect our words and actions have on other people.