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The Art of the Personal Ad

novella

novella

Active Member
Who can write the most screamingly awful worst personal ad?

Found this one, so I cannot lay claim to its authorship, but I find it strangely appealing:


“Seeking clone of last girlfriend (as she was of the one before her) to help me re-enact lifetime of co-dependent behavior. SWM, 38, hair, eyes, etc.”
 
If you like walking in the rain, reciting Victorian poetry out loud, the feel of mud between your toes, sharing fondue by candlelight, oily foot massages . . . you have disgusting taste and are really not my type, so do not answer this ad. All others welcome.
 
This is what's known in the vulgate as editorial masturbation.

I'll never get a date this way.
 
Stewart's personal ad:

MAN seeks multilingual listener with high-intensity rhythm and blues.
 
The one from the first post was damn funny! :D

Is that an actual real personal ad???

How about?

"man seeks woman. Must like cleaning and sex!"

How can that fail?
 
hot young woman looking for old, rich, billionaire who looks like the guy from "Tales from the Crypt"

get it? Anna Nicole Smith :)
 
Hubris made me pen this ad. You will answer, of course, but only ironically.
Man, once great and 23, now alone and 51.

courtesy LRB
 
I spent an entire day in the British Library sourcing obscure reference material to cite in this ad, then I lost it all when I stopped off at Burger King on the way home. Man, 34.

courtesy LRB
 
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