I've had it

[StillILearn]

I feel your pain, My sister is getting married on September 23rd also and I was NOT picked as the Matron of Honor. (Curse or blessing?) I'm not sure yet....But hurt as hell about it. She decided to pick my cousin David (that's right, you've read it right) She picked a guy to be her maid of Honor. Maybe it is a blessing, no?

I think your sister should feel quite free to choose whomever she wishes to stand up with her. It is apparently that she and David have a very special bond.

This is the most wonderful opportunity for you to show some class by behaving in a loving and graceful manner. Being "hurt as hell" and showing it will only make you look petty and throw a pall over the proceedings. Rise to the occasion, Isabel.

I'm going to use Marc as an example here: He took this opportunity to show all of us his best (real) face, and as a result has earned the entire forum's respect and admiration. Think how much happier he's going to be than if he'd logged off forever with his feelings hurt. It tood grace and courage to come back and show some humility and humor about the whole incident, and I have a feeling that the rewards will be great.

I dearly hope that a sense of humor is one of your many virtues, Isabel. It isn't easy to get through life without one.

 

[Isabell]

I think your sister should feel quite free to choose whomever she wishes to stand up with her. It is apparently that she and David have a very special bond.

This is the most wonderful opportunity for you to show some class by behaving in a loving and graceful manner. Being "hurt as hell" and showing it will only make you look petty and throw a pall over the proceedings. Rise to the occasion, Isabel.

I'm going to use Marc as an example here: He took this opportunity to show all of us his best (real) face, and as a result has earned the entire forum's respect and admiration. Think how much happier he's going to be than if he'd logged off forever with his feelings hurt. It tood grace and courage to come back and show some humility and humor about the whole incident, and I have a feeling that the rewards will be great.

I dearly hope that a sense of humor is one of your many virtues, Isabel. It isn't easy to get through life without one.

Humility is what I'm all about. Everyday in everyway. I agree with you about her being free to choose. I was never angry in this situation, but I was hurt, as anyone with a heart would be. I got past it and I'll do my best to help her along with her plans. I didn't state in my previous post why the actual reason that I was hurt in the first place. It's not that I wasn't picked to be the MOH, it was her underhanded way of hiding the fact that she didn't pick me, and the way she tried to hide her decision from me, instead of talking to me. That's the real reason I'm hurt....The meer fact that she didn't have the guts to talk to me in the first place. Angry, no...hurt, yes

 

[pontalba]

I don't blame you for being hurt one bit, it would be strange if you were not. But evidently there is history there that none of us are privy to, and shouldn't be. If it was me, I'd talk it out with her, that way the wound will not fester. /shrugs shoulders/ but I tend to be too direct sometimes. I suppose thats why I posted earlier that it was a blessing. And I still feel that way really. If the feelings between you all are such as that, it would not make for a happy occasion for either of you. The older I get, the more I realize and accept that people are going to go their own way in the end, no matter what.

 

[StillILearn]

I don't blame you for being hurt one bit, it would be strange if you were not. But evidently there is history there that none of us are privy to, and shouldn't be. If it was me, I'd talk it out with her, that way the wound will not fester. /shrugs shoulders/ but I tend to be too direct sometimes. I suppose thats why I posted earlier that it was a blessing. And I still feel that way really. If the feelings between you all are such as that, it would not make for a happy occasion for either of you. The older I get, the more I realize and accept that people are going to go their own way in the end, no matter what.

Boy howdy, pontalba! Did you ever just say a mouthful? And I don't know what "too direct" might even be anymore. I guess I grew up watching soap operas in which if only Sandy had told Sid that Bowie was Bert's son, it would have saved everybody a world of hurt.

This theory gets me into trouble sometimes.

 

[Isabell]

I don't blame you for being hurt one bit, it would be strange if you were not. But evidently there is history there that none of us are privy to, and shouldn't be. If it was me, I'd talk it out with her, that way the wound will not fester. /shrugs shoulders/ but I tend to be too direct sometimes. I suppose thats why I posted earlier that it was a blessing. And I still feel that way really. If the feelings between you all are such as that, it would not make for a happy occasion for either of you. The older I get, the more I realize and accept that people are going to go their own way in the end, no matter what.

You are 100% right. There are many years of baggage that is not even worth getting into. I have talked with her to let her know how I felt in the way the whole situation transpired. I told her that in order for us to have some kind of relationship, she needs to talk to me. She agreed. I just hope that she remembers that.

I guess in my old age, I'm the type to tell it like it is. I don't like to BS around situations. Wastes too much precious time, IMO

 

[StillILearn]

Humility is what I'm all about. Everyday in everyway. I agree with you about her being free to choose. I was never angry in this situation, but I was hurt, as anyone with a heart would be. I got past it and I'll do my best to help her along with her plans. I didn't state in my previous post why the actual reason that I was hurt in the first place. It's not that I wasn't picked to be the MOH, it was her underhanded way of hiding the fact that she didn't pick me, and the way she tried to hide her decision from me, instead of talking to me. That's the real reason I'm hurt....The meer fact that she didn't have the guts to talk to me in the first place. Angry, no...hurt, yes

Good for you, Isabel. Go out and spend a fortune of a gorgeous dress in your favorite color. One that you just love and that looks simply stunning on you (a luxury you wouldn't have had if you had been in the wedding party.) If anyone mentions David to you, praise the closeness of your sister's and his friendship. And have a ball at the wedding. All of this will look wonderful on you!

 

[Isabell]

Good for you, Isabel. Go out and spend a fortune of a gorgeous dress in your favorite color. One that you just love and that looks simply stunning on you (a luxury you wouldn't have had if you had been in the wedding party.) If anyone mentions David to you, praise the closeness of your sister's and his friendship. And have a ball at the wedding. All of this will look wonderful on you!

Ohhh NO NO NO, I have failed to mention that I am still in the Wedding Party I'm just the BRIDESMAID! I'll be standing right next to David! She has chosen a dress for me already. I don't have to shop for anything. Did I mention that it's a black tie affair? My 9 year old daughter has to wear a ball gown too and my 7 year old son has to wear a TUX? My husband is refusing to rent a TUX so I think what he's doing is buying a black suit.

I hate shopping so I'm really glad that the dress has been picked out. However, I'm not really sure if it's going to look good on me? It's a strapless and I don't look good in them. We'll just have to wait and see, I guess

 

[pontalba]

Good for you, Isabel. Go out and spend a fortune of a gorgeous dress in your favorite color. One that you just love and that looks simply stunning on you (a luxury you wouldn't have had if you had been in the wedding party.) If anyone mentions David to you, praise the closeness of your sister's and his friendship. And have a ball at the wedding. All of this will look wonderful on you!

Ah you sly boots you! Sorta on a par with..If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with.........er something else. ..

Isabell wrote-- I guess in my old age, I'm the type to tell it like it is. I don't like to BS around situations. Wastes too much precious time, IMO

Too bloody right. Sounds like you handled it just right.

 

[abecedarian]

Ohhh NO NO NO, I have failed to mention that I am still in the Wedding Party I'm just the BRIDESMAID! I'll be standing right next to David! She has chosen a dress for me already. I don't have to shop for anything. Did I mention that it's a black tie affair? My 9 year old daughter has to wear a ball gown too and my 7 year old son has to wear a TUX? My husband is refusing to rent a TUX so I think what he's doing is buying a black suit.

I hate shopping so I'm really glad that the dress has been picked out. However, I'm not really sure if it's going to look good on me? It's a strapless and I don't look good in them. We'll just have to wait and see, I guess

If you smile, you'll look great even if its a strapless gunny sack!

 

[pontalba]

Ohhh NO NO NO, I have failed to mention that I am still in the Wedding Party I'm just the BRIDESMAID! I'll be standing right next to David! She has chosen a dress for me already. I don't have to shop for anything. Did I mention that it's a black tie affair? My 9 year old daughter has to wear a ball gown too and my 7 year old son has to wear a TUX? My husband is refusing to rent a TUX so I think what he's doing is buying a black suit.

I hate shopping so I'm really glad that the dress has been picked out. However, I'm not really sure if it's going to look good on me? It's a strapless and I don't look good in them. We'll just have to wait and see, I guess

Can you pick out your own jewelry? Or any accessories? Or have to toe the party line?

 

[Isabell]

Can you pick out your own jewelry? Or any accessories? Or have to toe the party line?

Oh Maybe?!?! I could get really nice earrings and a necklace. I'll have to find a matching dress for my daughter. I really don't know why She couldn't be a flower girl or something.....it would be easier

 

[StillILearn]

Oh Maybe?!?! I could get really nice earrings and a necklace. I'll have to find a matching dress for my daughter. I really don't know why She couldn't be a flower girl or something.....it would be easier

Good God, I sounded just like Dear Abby up there. Please forgive me, it must have been that extra cup of coffee.

 

[Isabell]

I don't see anything wrong with the post.... unless I'm missing something here?

Maybe I'll just stick to posting about books and such....or maybe we can talk about the weather?

 

[DanielTC]

Huh? Who started this thread? . . .

Anyway, I kind of feel the same way, but I do not post here much.

 

[steffee]

But with all the excitement, why on earth would anyone want to leave?

 

[Robert]

But with all the excitement, why on earth would anyone want to leave?

Excitement? Where?

You're right though, who would want to leave a book forum where there is little discussion about books.

 

[Libre]

Huh? Who started this thread? . . .

Me..........
ha ha ha beat the 10 character rule.

 

[abecedarian]

Me..........
ha ha ha beat the 10 character rule.

Look what you started

 

[Libre]

I know. I start this thread, thinking it's going to be my last, because hardly anyone (I think) ever reads my post. Then the thread turns into a multi-page monster, and instead of freeing up the time I had been spending on TBF, not only am I spending MORE time on it, now I'm involved in yet ANOTHER forum, that some TBF members have found (TMP).

 

[Motokid]

...now I'm involved in yet ANOTHER forum, that some TBF members have found (TMP).

It is the yang, to TBF's ying, isn't it?

And now there's even some authentic, original cartoon art.