I had to at least glance at the 57-page magnum opus that Stewart's comments inspired,
The Time Keeper II.
Newton and Einstein have changed the world forever in a profound way, from Newton‟s writing of the “Philosophia Naturalis Principia Mathematica,” which describes the laws of motion, to Einstein‟s theories of special and general relativity, to quantum mechanics as based on an equation by Erwin Shrödinger, the next chain in the link in theoretical physics.
These are all just theories, but they have been tried and tested time and time again. Everything we use in our daily lives—planes, cars, and all sorts of electronic equipment, are products of these theories. One only has to look at the development of controlled fission and fusion and the incarnation of the atom and hydrogen bombs to see the realization of these theories.
Greetings, Dave. We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future.
“You‟re right, I need your help. I am working on a new project, a particle accelerator. You have heard of the Large Hadron Collider situated in Switzerland and constructed by the people at CERN?”
“Yes, I have heard of it. It was built underground and has a circumference of twenty-seven kilometers, at a cost of nearly ten billion dollars.”
“Well, my project has put them to shame. The people at CERN were, and are still looking for a few things. In particular, the Higgs boson particle. You know, it is sometimes called „The God Particle.‟”
“Yea, I know, and they found it and proved the existence of a Higgs field. They are also looking for what constitutes dark energy and dark matter, the existence of strings, and whatever other particles they can find. You know, Jack, there are some questions about its safety.”
“Well, Dave, my experiment is underway, and it puts the Hadron Collider to shame.”
“Jack, now I know you have money from your parents, but not that much.”
“It only cost me three hundred million dollars.”
“That‟s still quite a chunk of change, and where did you build this thing?”
“Right underneath my property. I barely had enough room with my thirty-nine acres of ground. And, as for the extra size of the LHC, I have used my brilliance and ingenuity, Dave.”
“I can see that modesty is not one of your strong points.”
“Are you making fun of me, Dave?”
Why would anyone make fun of someone who's put the LHC to shame, Dave? After all, they've put the LHC to shame, Dave.
And that's
before Dave gets to meet Newton!
Newton asked, “Who are you, and what are you doing in my house?”
“I have apparently been sent here by the Time Keeper, who is able to shift people through space and time. I am from the year 2016.”
“Do you know who I am?”
“Of course, you‟re Isaac Newton, one of the pioneers in the field of physics. You are very well known, even in my time. Can I ask you a question?”
“Go right ahead, if you are who you say. But first, what is your name?‟
“Dave is my name.”
“Go ahead with your question, Dave.”
Is Newton cool as a cucumber or
what, Dave? Of course, that's before Dave tells him he's responsible for the invention of weapons of mass destruction, Dave. Which he then goes on to do to Einstein too, Dave. Who, upon hearing that Jack's new project puts the LHC to shame, totally pwns CERN, Dave!
With your ancient, juvenile minds you have developed explosives too fast for your minds to conceive what you are doing. You are on the verge of destroying the entire universe. We are a part of that universe. This is our last...
...Sorry, that's
Plan 9 From Outer Space again, but you get the gist, Dave. As Dave explains to his wife later on:
“Alright. You know, your friend Jack is either going to save this world of ours, or destroy it with his crazy experiments.”
“I know. Newton and Einstein agree with me.”
“Dave, have you been nipping at the sherry again?”
But of course, being a clueless woman, his wife is wrong: this is all too real. So Dave does what any good scientist would do: he goes to deal with his friend Jack, who despite being schizophrenic has built a particle collider (which is "not circular like the Large Hadron Collider built by CERN, nor was it as immense, but it was nearly as impressive") in his back yard. And for those who don't remember the distant beginning of the novel 20 pages earlier, Jack explains yet again:
What I am doing now puts those projects to shame. You see, Dave, it‟s right up your alley. You do have a PhD. in particle physics that you acquired at the university where you are currently a professor. Well, Dave, when I spoke to you at the university I gave you just part of the whole story. My own collider puts the CERN project to shame.
I won't reveal the ending, Dave, and you'd never guess what the surprise message is at the end, but suffice to say this is a roller coaster of a novel, Dave. It puts all other scientific thrillers to shame, Dave. To
shame.
