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Someone tell me this.

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eewww...Y'all are gonna be in so much trouble. Your cruisin' for a bruisin' as my mamma used to say.
 
Ronny said:
eewww...Y'all are gonna be in so much trouble. Your cruisin' for a bruisin' as my mamma used to say.
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i'll be over in the 'im drunk' thread so as to not get in trouble and i can blame the booze for getting confused...
 
ruach said:
So it is all right to call members trolls, grammar nazis and elitists (by a mod, too boot) but it isn’t okay for me to call someone a wanker? Why? How is one more abusive than another?
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I'm sorry. I'll add grammar nazi and elitist to my list. I didn't bother to go through the forum and find every single name a person has been called here. Although, if you'll note, troll was on my list.

I know being a mod isn’t a fun job, but they did sign up for it so aren’t worthy of pity. I’m sure more mods will make things even clearer, that’s tounge-in-cheek in case you missed it. The mods we have now, need to be consistent in their actions and set an example.
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I think this is an unfair statement. I can only guess how long some of these people have been mods. Undoubtedly, it was from long before the forum was this size. There's also really only four of them around these days. I'm not saying we should pity them, just that I understand why they can't oversee every little post these days.

I once took time out of my day to post something for you, but you couldn’t return the favor by looking at it and I found that to be quite hostile. My point, look at yourself before you judge others.
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I'm sorry. I know exactly what post you are talking about. I must have misread you at that point. I thought you were being hostile in posting a movie intended to make you jump in response to my post that I was alone, late at night in the dark. I couldn't be bothered because I knew what was at the end of that link and I couldn't understand why you would want to get someone feeling creeped out feeling even more so.

I do look at myself, and I try very hard to be polite to people here. As I stated above, there are people here who I don't agree with. However, I try very hard to be respectful of them in everything I post. I know I haven't always been able to. Especially because I often visit here when I am tired or in a rush. The effort is there though, and I think for the most part it shows.
 
mehastings said:
I can only guess how long some of these people have been mods. Undoubtedly, it was from long before the forum was this size. There's also really only four of them around these days.
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With all respect, this is smalltime. I'm the moderator of this forum (Threads: 90,821, Posts: 409,718, Members: 28,118) and there is only two other active moderators. Our Admin hasn't been seen for months.
 
Since this has been brought up again over here, I will say that aside from some members' tone, I feel that the bullying comes more from members' who post a certain way in every thread. What I mean is the repetitive putting down of certain books, authors or genres, if we have a good feel for the members' dislikes already and yet they continue to debate a point it takes away from the discussion of those who liked the book. I understand that many of you like to debate, far more than I do, I must add, but when does it turn from to debating to harassing? Thats how I feel most of the time, that it's not just what is said it's how often it's said and how it spreads through the threads and ends up silencing the ones that aren't as well read or spoken as other members.
 
Stewart said:
With all respect, this is smalltime. I'm the moderator of this forum (Threads: 90,821, Posts: 409,718, Members: 28,118) and there is only two other active moderators. Our Admin hasn't been seen for months.
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So what are you saying Stewart? :confused: Do they hand out ritalin with each membership there? Or is there some other forum pixie dust that removes spam, restores a shiny lustre to aging hardword floors, eliminates name-calling, keeps you regular, dissolves potentially offensive posts and the members with the most potential to get offended by them, and is part of a nutritious breakfast? Or do the few moderators simply manage to enforce the forum rules consistently with fairness and equality for all?

How many smilies do I need to add to the end of my posts again? :) :) :) :) :)
 
Irene Wilde said:
So what are you saying Stewart? :confused: Do they hand out ritalin with each membership there?
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If so, can I join even though I'm long since out of the programming loop?
How many smilies do I need to add to the end of my posts again? :) :) :) :) :)
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I think you might be one short. :rolleyes:
 
ronny said:
What I mean is the repetitive putting down of certain books, authors or genres, if we have a good feel for the members' dislikes already and yet they continue to debate a point it takes away from the discussion of those who liked the book. I understand that many of you like to debate, far more than I do, I must add, but when does it turn from to debating to harassing? Thats how I feel most of the time, that it's not just what is said it's how often it's said and how it spreads through the threads and ends up silencing the ones that aren't as well read or spoken as other members.
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I take your point and I'm sorry you feel harassed, ronny. (Though I don't think you and I personally have ever crossed swords in any of the forums.) But I do strongly feel that, just as someone who likes a book is entitled to respond to a criticism of it, so is someone who dislikes a book entitled to respond to praise of it. I think in threads dedicated to specific authors where I've been critical - eg Matthew Reilly and Stephen King - I've only commented when I have something new to say, based on something of theirs that I've read. Others may be going back and forth saying the same thing over and over again, but if that happens there are usually new arguments being raised each time, not just "Yes it is"/"No it isn't."

It's a different matter on the more combative threads, such as Books and Intelligence, or Name a Mainstream "Blockbuster" You Really Like!, where the very subject of the thread lets members know that there's going to be some vigorous debate there, so they can avoid it if that's what they want.

If some members feel 'silenced' because they feel they "aren't as well read or spoken as other members" then that's a shame but I don't think it's reasonable to expect members who feel they do have something to articulate, to refrain from doing so, particularly if they don't know when such members are feeling silenced... because they're silent! If that makes sense?

Oh and everyone I'm sorry for hijacking this thread with this subject - I hadn't read the "Tell me one thing" thread which this spun off from, which is where all this should really be. So if a mod wants to move it then please do.
 
Shade said:
Stewart might offer the same consent (or might not), since he and I are among the most robust critics of what we consider bad writing on the board, and most likely to come up in threads like this.
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Weird thing is, when I think of this issue, I don't think of either of you. I don't think I've ever had an issue with anything either of you has said regarding "bad writing". There is a big difference between saying "I think this author writes lousy books" and "I think you are an idiot because you like this author". Granted, I don't think I've ever butted heads with either of you over authors/books/whatever, and others may feel differently.

Shade is right. This has moved off topic, so I'll add in that I'm sortof with Kaz. Although I've never read Danielle Steel, I do read a few "low impact" books a year. The Mitford books I mentioned above are some of them, so are Evanovich's Plum series, Harry Potter and Ross' Miss Julia series.
 
No we haven't really crossed swords before, I don't get into most of the debates but I do read them. I don't mind that they are there, If I go into a book and intelligence thread I expect exactly what I find there and I like alot of what you personally have said :).

I was referring rather to the members that go to say the King or Brown thread just to heckle those that read it, and they don't seem to have any other agenda than to make those that read for fun feel bad about it. I don't mind a negative opinion at all if it's in respect to that book and there is a discussion going on but when someone hasn't even read the book but dislikes the author and so goes into the thread just to put the author down, that would be an example of what I'm refering to.

I know I'm not getting this across well but it's just the way some go from thread to thread saying the same thing about the same book/author that gets tiresome and that the posters don't even offer what they would feel to be a better book. It just feels as if they come here to post and put others down.
 
Shade said:
If some members feel 'silenced' because they feel they "aren't as well read or spoken as other members" then that's a shame but I don't think it's reasonable to expect members who feel they do have something to articulate, to refrain from doing so, particularly if they don't know when such members are feeling silenced... because they're silent! If that makes sense?
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i think this makes a lot of sense. someone else mentioned that really, the only thing we have control over is our own reactions. i can choose how i am going to respond to a comment, and if i am silent, then no one is going to know that i disagree, or i was offended. it is lovely to think and hope that we are all going to communicate in a manner that is agreeable to everyone, however we all know the reality of this statement. at some point we have to take responsibility for how we want to be treated. and i think that is what is going on here with this thread and martin's.
 
I leave the computer turned off for 2 days, and the whole TBF world turns topsy-turvy!

First of all, thank you Martin for bringing this topic up. It's been bothering me for a while now too.

I realize I'm as guilty as anyone, but these are the problems as I see them:

1) This forum is no longer a book forum. At least 80% of our threads have absolutely nothing to do with books. And the few books discussions we do have are nowhere near as intellectual as they were a year ago. Should TBF be exclusively for scholars? Of course not (let's not forget, I'm probably the biggest Clive Cussler fan there is!), but it should be frequented by people who want to learn. There is a time and a place for jokes, but this isn't really it. Every single one of us joined TBF to talk about books, not current events, not jokes, not the weather, not hangovers, not movies, not music, not Cobe Bryant or our feelings on rape... But we've ALL done each and every one of those things. If we want to discuss those things, we should have joined a different forum (or use the PM function).

2) The book forum has become more of a private club than a forum. Even if we had more decent discussions, what good are they if they keep getting interrupted by private jokes that only 2 or 3 people understand. A tight little clique has developped over the last couple months that's quite unattractive. I felt so at home here when I first joined, thanks to a couple wonderful people who've since left. And yes, these people too had jokes about certain members' hairy behinds, chocolate hobnobs and all kinds of other crazy things, but it was kept in check ~ most of the time. And when they started talking about books, you knew that they were intelligent people that you could learn a lot from.

These people are now gone, and the new generation of posters (with several notable exceptions) is very different. The fact of the matter is that after being here a little more than a year, I feel like both an old-timer and a stranger. What a strange dichotomy!
 
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