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Are you offended - really????
- Thread starter Motokid
- Start date
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Kenny Shovel
Active Member
No, that’s not as I put it. I said:Martin said:
Kenny Shovel said:
I will assume that this is merely a turn of phrase rather than a personal dig (I’m not offended by the way).Martin said:
The point of my previous post was this
However having read this:Kenny Shovel said:
and this:Martin said:
I am unsure if any such balance is being applied.Martin said:
Your answer incidentally, ignores the possibility that someone who takes no part in an ‘offensive’ thread could be offended that it is removed.
Well, I think I’ll confine myself to my conversation with Sergo on one of the other boards for a while as this is all getting a bit boring.
«FickleMinded»
New Member
--never been offended and I hope that I didn't offend anybody either,but I understand sometimes if other people get offended with what they read,example calling someone Stupid is really offensive,but unless you heard how they say it,like jokingly or seriously, doesn't really matter,but since forum is just a plain text,you have to be safe than sorry, so sometimes if you explain something that you're not sure if it is offendsive to anyone, you post a qualifier "NO OFFENSE MEANT".
Ronny
Well-Known Member
I'm new so I haven't seen a lot of the threads here and I didn't see the two in question, but one of the things I really liked about this forum was there's so many different people with varied opinions here. Everyone seemed so comfortable posting their views and I've enjoyed reading them, I've not been offended here at all.
I have left a board in the past because it got so ugly with name calling and personal attacks on members and mods alike that it was no longer enjoyable to go there, it was unfortunate and a lot of people left.
I have left a board in the past because it got so ugly with name calling and personal attacks on members and mods alike that it was no longer enjoyable to go there, it was unfortunate and a lot of people left.
mehastings
Active Member
Motokid said:
I'm new and I've never really understood why people get offended by things they read online. I actually had a job once where I was in a supervisory position indirectly overseeing 200+ people. I often had to send emails giving feedback that I had gotten from the employees' more direct supervisors. My boss actually told me that I should try to include more smiley faces in my emails so that people wouldn't be offended when I told them what they had done wrong. Yea, OK...
I'm pretty hard to offend unless you attack me personally, but I know not everyone feels that way. I just don't really get why people open, read and comment on threads that they can tell from the title will probably offend them (ie Pope ~ spaghetti, Right to Die, etc) and then leave the forum forever.
I'm not saying religion and politics belong here, because they probably don't. However, I think people have a responsiblity to themselves to say "Hey, I see this thread and can guess what it is about by its title. Perhaps I should stay clear" rather than getting involved in a discussion/argument to the point that they feel uncomfortable discussing other things here...like books.
I'm fairly opinionated, but I often keep it to myself here, because I see other people getting cranked up about stuff that I think is kindof silly. Now I will include a smiley face so that nobody is offended by my comment about silliness.
Sergo
New Member
Good thread, thanks Motokid!
It is impossible to offend me on the internet. If one tryes to do so - it means that he is too weak to get into a regular discussion with me.
I know all my weak and strong points better than anybody, so it is impossible for anybody to tell me something true and insulting about me... And it is foolish to try to insult one with things that are not true for the above reason.
It is impossible to offend me on the internet. If one tryes to do so - it means that he is too weak to get into a regular discussion with me.
I know all my weak and strong points better than anybody, so it is impossible for anybody to tell me something true and insulting about me... And it is foolish to try to insult one with things that are not true for the above reason.
Motokid
New Member
But see...constantly having to place qualifiers and happy faces is part of what I'm talking about. If you're always worried about what every person in the forum may or may not think about what you have to say how well are you going to be able to get your point across? You're letting political correctness guide your post for fear of offending someone.
What I'm talking about is giving every post the benefit of the doubt. Looking at the overall meaning and not boiling it down to something that probably was not meant to cause trouble in the first place. Using a term like African-American or black is a perfect example. I don't see the need for someone to have to put a qualifier in there because they refer to someone as black.
And if someone does have a problem with a post I'd love to see that person step up, and have the go-nads to ask directly what the poster intended. Ask about the intent of the post. Get right to the problem so it can be addressed and fixed so that everybody can move on. Then let it go.
I don't know...maybe I should just let this go and start my next thread....
What I'm talking about is giving every post the benefit of the doubt. Looking at the overall meaning and not boiling it down to something that probably was not meant to cause trouble in the first place. Using a term like African-American or black is a perfect example. I don't see the need for someone to have to put a qualifier in there because they refer to someone as black.
And if someone does have a problem with a post I'd love to see that person step up, and have the go-nads to ask directly what the poster intended. Ask about the intent of the post. Get right to the problem so it can be addressed and fixed so that everybody can move on. Then let it go.
I don't know...maybe I should just let this go and start my next thread....
Sergo
New Member
I think that there are many people around who are easily offended because they are not sure enough of themselves etc.
Then, people are sometimes subject to emotions etc. - for example, Russian customs try to stole a truck with $300.000 worth of goods from me right now, so naturally I am slightly upset and can say something out off cue...
Or react strangely to some peaceful comment...
But of course I hardly would do that, but some others could.
So... The best way maybe is to take into consideration that to speak about the dead Pope etc., using some special... errr... descriptions, ideas... may hurt some. And stop doing that. By the way, there are all too many other topics around.
But, of course, it is my humble opinion.
Then, people are sometimes subject to emotions etc. - for example, Russian customs try to stole a truck with $300.000 worth of goods from me right now, so naturally I am slightly upset and can say something out off cue...
Or react strangely to some peaceful comment...
But of course I hardly would do that, but some others could.
So... The best way maybe is to take into consideration that to speak about the dead Pope etc., using some special... errr... descriptions, ideas... may hurt some. And stop doing that. By the way, there are all too many other topics around.
But, of course, it is my humble opinion.
Motokid said:
i see what you are saying, but sometimes i think the smilies or the "i'm kidding " qualifier are necessary simply because tone of voice is so difficult to ascertain. especially if someone is new. while some have an aversion to using the smilies, simply because they are so eloquent in their expressions, example and here
,others do find it necessary to make sure a statement is taken as it was intended, a joke.
Martin
Active Member
I don't think it's necessary to start creating psychological and mental profiles of the members who might get offended - I think that's digging just slightly to deep.
People are different, period. All we ask is that rules are abided, nothing more, nothing less. There aren't many, and they aren't difficult.
And Jenn - I hope you know me well enough by now to know that that was posted in good fun. If not, then I'll be forced to use smileys.
Cheers
People are different, period. All we ask is that rules are abided, nothing more, nothing less. There aren't many, and they aren't difficult.
And Jenn - I hope you know me well enough by now to know that that was posted in good fun. If not, then I'll be forced to use smileys.
Cheers
sanyuja
New Member
I should probably stay out of this thread!
As Jenn pointed out, there are many reasons as to why people get offended.
For me, more than religion/politics, I am offended if people are rude.
I am a religious person, I have my own political views, but that doesnt mean that I am offended if poeple have some other opinion and choose to state it. They are free to do so provided they understand that just like they have their own opinions, I have mine!
This applies to everything actually. Be it political, religious or some opinion on some book, one should understand that people have different views and different opinions. I thought that 'Pope--spaghetti' thread was funny and took it lightly, but somebody might not!
Same way, I might find some book good, some person might find it utter crap. If I post on the forum that the book is good, and if some person replies saying 'Dont be silly. That book is crap!', then I would be really offended.
That person should understand that we both are two different people with different opinions and views. He/she can reply (without being rude) saying 'I didnt like that book'.
Be it books, religion, politics or opinions on anything, IMO, the secret of harmony lies in respecting each other's feelings, opinions and views.
When people from all across the world, with different religious background, language, culture, lifestyle interact at this scale, these frictions bound to be there. But, its in our hands how we handle them. I think we all are matured enough to make out what mgiht offend people and choose not to state it.
Its very unfortunate that people get offended and leave this forum.
And we are responsible for it.
PS: I knew I should have stayed out of this!
As Jenn pointed out, there are many reasons as to why people get offended.
For me, more than religion/politics, I am offended if people are rude.
I am a religious person, I have my own political views, but that doesnt mean that I am offended if poeple have some other opinion and choose to state it. They are free to do so provided they understand that just like they have their own opinions, I have mine!
This applies to everything actually. Be it political, religious or some opinion on some book, one should understand that people have different views and different opinions. I thought that 'Pope--spaghetti' thread was funny and took it lightly, but somebody might not!
Same way, I might find some book good, some person might find it utter crap. If I post on the forum that the book is good, and if some person replies saying 'Dont be silly. That book is crap!', then I would be really offended.
That person should understand that we both are two different people with different opinions and views. He/she can reply (without being rude) saying 'I didnt like that book'.
Be it books, religion, politics or opinions on anything, IMO, the secret of harmony lies in respecting each other's feelings, opinions and views.
When people from all across the world, with different religious background, language, culture, lifestyle interact at this scale, these frictions bound to be there. But, its in our hands how we handle them. I think we all are matured enough to make out what mgiht offend people and choose not to state it.
Its very unfortunate that people get offended and leave this forum.
And we are responsible for it.
PS: I knew I should have stayed out of this!
Martin said:And Jenn - I hope you know me well enough by now to know that that was posted in good fun. If not, then I'll be forced to use smileys.
Cheers
oh of course. to me the highest form of flattery is when i am being teased or poked fun at. seriously. in this part of canada, you know you are well liked when others feel comfortable to tease and crack a joke at your expense. so if i am making fun or giving you a little dig in the ribs, it's really a high compliment.
as my little links were intended.
please do not use smileys. i would feel awful.
Motokid
New Member
Please don't stay out of this thread.
"Same way, I might find some book good, some person might find it utter crap. If I post on the forum that the book is good, and if some person replies saying 'Dont be silly. That book is crap!', then I would be really offended."
You would be really offended if somebody disagreed with your opinion? Why?
If they said you were an idiot because of your opinion that might be different, but in the context of what you said I can't believe that would "really" offend you.
If I like Coors beer and somebody says it's crap should I be offended? I like it. I don't care if they do or don't. They can say it's crap. They can have an opinion. Why is an opinion offensive? I may not agree with the opinion, but I'm not offended by it.
"Same way, I might find some book good, some person might find it utter crap. If I post on the forum that the book is good, and if some person replies saying 'Dont be silly. That book is crap!', then I would be really offended."
You would be really offended if somebody disagreed with your opinion? Why?
If they said you were an idiot because of your opinion that might be different, but in the context of what you said I can't believe that would "really" offend you.
If I like Coors beer and somebody says it's crap should I be offended? I like it. I don't care if they do or don't. They can say it's crap. They can have an opinion. Why is an opinion offensive? I may not agree with the opinion, but I'm not offended by it.
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