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Greatest Americans

well who doesn't like to sit down with the family to a night of pig-turbating. it's fun for everyone.

what i want to know is what do these celebrities tell themselves when it comes time to sign the contracts for these shows? do they think this will be the gig that kickstarts my career?
 
Don't forget Celebrity Wrestling, Celebrity Cancer Ward and Celebrity **** Island and whatever else ITV can churn out in order to get ratings.
 
jenngorham said:
what i want to know is what do these celebrities tell themselves when it comes time to sign the contracts for these shows? do they think this will be the gig that kickstarts my career?
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Well, usually they are not celebrities. They are just known in the public eye for onestupid thing another - one slept with beckham, one was the boyfriend of some soap actress, and another was a bodyguard for a boy band. That's the level of shite British celebrity status has stooped to.

Z List is too good for them. We'll need to sart using Chinese glyphs in order to find their appropriate level. :rolleyes:
 
I think this may be the point where a mod needs to split this into a new thread. We seem to have wandered from Greatest Americans to Pig fondling...and looking back it appeaers to be my fault...
 
so far over here they are people who had some level of fame. many are 70's 80's celebs, models, etc.the recent surreal life had 2 models, a freaky wrestler chick(chynna?) mini me , jane weidlen(sp?), da brat(?) and a brady. half are freaks but the other half seem like somewhat normal people. they must get paid butt loads of money.
 
Kenny Shovel said:
I think this may be the point where a mod needs to split this into a new thread. We seem to have wandered from Greatest Americans to Pig fondling...and looking back it appeaers to be my fault...
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that's funny, but true. what is the new thread called, the horrors of reality tv?
 
Stewart said:
Don't forget Celebrity Wrestling.
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Oh yes, my list expands:

5) Celebrity Wrestling
Featured James 'I trespassed in the Royal garden, well Princess Di's Lady garden' Hewitt dressed in lycra tights and re-named as Gentleman Jim. Not often you see a show were a Professional wrestler called “Rowdy Roddy Piper” is the only one to maintain their dignity.
 
jenngorham said:
so far over here they are people who had some level of fame. many are 70's 80's celebs, models, etc.the recent surreal life had 2 models, a freaky wrestler chick(chynna?) mini me , jane weidlen(sp?), da brat(?) and a brady. half are freaks but the other half seem like somewhat normal people. they must get paid butt loads of money.
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And now we see a circle developing, I believe "The surreal life" featured Brigitte Neilson and Flavor Flav who have since re-appeared over here in Celebrity Big Brother and the Farm respectively. So we now have an entirely new level of celebrity that only exists in reality TV.....

which brings me to entry 6:

6) Celebrity Big Brother 3
Brigitte Neilson is 'delighted' when ex-mother in-law and "Pet psychic" Jackie Stallone is introduced to the house. They are made to play a game based on Medieval life were Jackie is the Queen mother and Brigitte is a chambermaid who’s duties include warming the bed with her body before Jackie uses them. Not satisfied that this level of humiliation is low enough Brigitte is forced to do the same thing whenever her ex-mother in-law wants to use the toilet.

No, I’m not making any of this up...
 
Kenny Shovel said:
... Flavor Flav .....
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I think this is supposed to be "Flav-a-Flav"? (could be wrong, don't know who she is, but I am assuming a rapper or entertainer of some sort? I think I've seen the name in print somewhere) :confused:

Jackie Stallone (yes, this is Sylvester (yo-Adrianne)'s mother!) was on a local radio show recently. She actually believes she can talk to your pet psychic-ly. And Sly hasn't sent her to a home somewhere?

I don't know. Maybe she can.:rolleyes:
 
leckert said:
I think this is supposed to be "Flav-a-Flav"? (could be wrong, don't know who she is, but I am assuming a rapper or entertainer of some sort? I think I've seen the name in print somewhere) :confused:
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Flava Flav - it's a guy; the twat with the clock around his neck from Public Enemy.
 
fight the power, fight the powers that be......

i did watch the latest surreal life. vern(mini me) got very drunk and was driving around on his scooter naked and peed in a corner. the brady was the voice of reason in the house. i can't believe i contribute to this epidemic.

flavour flaaaaaaaaaaaav.....
 
Kenny Shovel said:
...4) The Farm
Celebs work as farm hands and learn 'real farm skills'. The first series, yes we've had two lots of this crap already, featured a woman previously famous only for sleeping with David Beckham (England Soccer Captain) masturbating a pig so the semen could be collected. Comparisons in the press were made.

Mmm, another TV classic heading your way from the UK.....enjoy.
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Sounds like we had this one here, already.

They had the Hilton girl, and Lionel Ritchie's adopted daughter working on a farm, and living with a farmer and their family.

"The Simple Life". Don't think it was completely about a farm, but I remember seeing the Ritchie girl with her hand up a cow's bum to the elbow.

Great family programming!

Haven't seen the Celebrity **** Island, yet. Maybe I don't get that channel!
 
Stewart said:
Flava Flav - it's a guy; the twat with the clock around his neck from Public Enemy.
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Yeah Flava Flav is the correct spelling. I saw Public Enemy at Brixton Academy once in the late 80's early 90's, I forget when. At the start of the gig Flava bounded into view but totally overestimated where the edge of the stage was and fell straight into the crowd.....best start to a gig ever.
 
Always been more of a Neil Young, Aerosmith, Gordon Lightfoot kind of guy.

Never been to a Rap concert in my life, although I do like Run DMC, and I remember when Doug E. Fresh and MC Ricky Dee were hot. They were pretty good.
 
leckert said:
Sounds like we had this one here, already...."The Simple Life"...
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I'm afraid that "The Farm" makes "The Simple Life" look like The Royal Shakespere company performing "I Cladius" in comparison.
 
I love Brooker's comment about ITV:

It's easy to see why ITV's audience has collapsed. Having spent years relentlessly pursuing the lowest common denominator, it's inadvertently become a specialist channel for the very, very thick, while its traditional audience (the slightly thick) is now openly courted by Channel 4.
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There are 5 free to view channels in Britain, BBC1, ITV (independant Television), BBC2, Channel 4, and Channel 5 (or 'UK tits and Nazis' to give it it's old nickname).
In addition there are 100's of stallite/cable channels that you pay for.

I should say that you have to pay a licence fee of £120? a year to fund the BBC...
 
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