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What are you listening to Right now?

Laurie Anderson - Only An Expert

Now only an expert can deal with a problem.
Cos half of the problem is seeing the problem.
And only an expert can deal with the problem.
Only an expert can deal with the problem.

So if there's no expert dealing with a problem,
then really it's actually twice the problem.
Cos only an expert can deal with the problem.
Only an expert can deal with the problem.

Now in America, we like solutions. We like solutions to problems. And there's so many companies that offer solutions. Companies with names like: The Pet Solution, The Hair Solution, The Debt Solution, The World Solution, The Sushi Solution.

The debt solution... Now, only an expert can see there's a problem.
And these companies are experts ready to solve these problems.
Cos only an expert can deal with the problem.
Only an expert can deal with the problem.

Now, let's say you're invited to be on Oprah, and you don't have a problem, but you wanna go on the show, and so you need a problem. And so you invent a problem. But if you're not an expert in problems, you're probably not going to make up a very plausible problem. And so you're probably gonna get nailed. You're gonna get exposed, you're gonna have to bow down and apologise and beg for the public's forgiveness. Because only an expert can see there's a problem. And only an expert can deal with a problem. Only an expert can deal with a problem.

And on these shows that try to solve your problems, the big question's always: how can I get control. How can I take control. But, don't forget, this is a question for the regular viewer, the person who is barely getting by. The person who is watching shows about people with problems, the person who is one of the 60 percent of the US population 1.3 weeks away, 1.3 paychecks away from homelessness. In other words... a person with problems.

So when experts say let's get to the root of the problem, let's take control of the problem, cos if you take control of the problem, you can solve the problem. Often this doesn't work at all because the situation is completely out of control.

Cos only an expert can deal with the problem.
And only an expert can deal with the problem.
And only an expert can deal with the problem.

So, who are these experts? Now, experts are usually self-appointed people or elected officials or people skilled in sales techniques, trained or self-taught to focus on things that might be identified as problems. But the expert is someone who studies the problem and tries to solve the problem. The expert is someone who carries malpractice insurance. Because often the solution becomes... the problem.

And only an expert can deal with the problem.
And only an expert can deal with the problem.
Only an expert can deal with the problem.

Now sometimes experts look for weapons. And sometimes experts look everywhere for weapons. And sometimes when they don't find any weapons, sometimes other experts say: if you haven't found any weapons, it doesn't mean there are no weapons. And other experts looking for weapons find things like cleaning fluids and refrigerator rods and small magnets. And they say: these may look like common objects to you, but in our opinion, they could be weapons. Or they could be used to make weapons. Or they could be used to ship weapons. Or to store weapons. Cos only an expert can see they might be weapons. And only an expert can deal with weapons. And only an expert can deal with problems.

Cos only an expert can deal with the problem.
And only an expert can deal with the problem.
Only an expert can deal with the problem.

You know, and sometimes, if it's really really really really really hot, and it's July in January, and there's no more snow, and huge waves are wiping out cities, and hurricanes are everywhere, and everyone knows it's a problem. But if some of the experts say it's no problem, and if other experts claim it's no problem or explain why it's no problem, then it's simply not a problem.

But, when an expert says it's a problem and makes a movie about the problem and wins an Oscar about the problem then all the other experts have to agree that it is, most likely, a problem.

Cos only an expert can deal with the problem.
And only an expert can deal with the problem.
Only an expert can deal with the problem.

And even though a country can invade another country, and flatten it, and ruin it, and create havoc and civil war and refugees in that country, and if the experts say it's not a problem and if everyone agrees that they're experts and good at solving problems, then invading these countries is simply -- NOT -- a problem.

And if a country tortures people, and holds citizens without cause or trial, and sets up military tribunals, this is also not a problem.

Unless there's an expert who says it is the beginning of a problem.

Cos only an expert can deal with the problem.
And only an expert can deal with the problem.
And only an expert can deal with the problem.
 
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