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That is definitely not it. I don't think it is a kids book as such, even though I did read it when I was a kid, but then again, I was reading adult books by the time I was 9 or 10, so this book could just have easily been a teen or adult story, more likely a teen.
I remember at one point in...
I suddenly remembered the name of a character in a book that I read as a child, and her name is Edie Dawkins. I would desperately like to know the title of the book, because I cannot remember any details apart from thsi one characters name.
So if anyone knows it, please let me know. Thanks!
I've been trying to write a book for some time, but am not quite sure how good it is. So here is part of one chapter, called 'Water Music'. It is supposed to fit in towards the end of the story, so I know some things won't make much sense.
Well.. here it is.
'Water Music'
Staring at the...
I thank you for some of your criticism. You have made some very valid points that I will look into further. Since this is a first copy of this version of the beginning, I had realised that it needed some work, but just had not done any.
Some of the points I will not change at all. There are...
I wrote this when I was 16/17. A new interpretation of the well known folklore song.
Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me…
Sweet Grace, my angel. Your sugary voice, so sweet, trickles over me like hot butter, cascading into my dreams. And those hands. Soft. Small...
i want to thank both roddglenn and libra for supporting me.. i also think the same thing. Being told you are not good enough by someone else.. is not only patronising, but also bad manners. I was only trying to help.. and if you did not want it.. then why bother posting in the first place? Oh...
I, in fact, hate the way you have rewritten it and prefer the first original version of the passage you gave and would not even consider writing it in the way you just did. That was dull.
Perhaps that is your problem. You are attempting to immitate a style of writing which is difficult it...
You say that you think that I am inexperienced. Well, even if I were, I would find you the same. Your way of writing is very.. unstylised. And what is wrong with choppy and unpoetic? Whoever said a story had to be otherwise. Some of the best things I've read have been altogether.. illogical. Do...
I always have found, and may be because I have a hectic home life, that sitting in a place where there is some noise, but not much in the background is the best place to read. Such places, like on a bus, or in the front room when the football is on, are two brilliant examples. The 'white-noise'...
I would like to disagree with Morgolemtheau about the lack of emotion within the character. I personally found this quite nice for a change. Why can't he be uncaring? Sure his brother died and his drunkard father blames him for his wifes death, so why shouldn't he be bitter and uncaring? I quite...
Even after you edited it, I think that you describe things to much, or just in a strange way. Let me take the first sentence from your work to suggest how you could change it.
Before:
On the school bus maneuvering down the uneven roads on a late wintry afternoon, through small patches of...
A short poem I thought up as I strolled down the road near my home.
Chiseldon Camp: July: 10pm
No sounds.
Nothing, but the whispering wind
And the crunch of my footsteps
And my quiet breath.
Occasionally, the rattle of a stone
As it is kicked across the worn road.
Far-away...
it was good, and the use of so much dialog was good. However, the ending puzzles me, as well as the entire plot. Why are the parents sad that their son is married and he has started his new life? I'm not sure whether they are really sad of sad in a happy way?
But the ending. It seems very...
I have recently rewritten the first chapter of my novel, saving what I had written for later. After some of the crits I got, I figured the beginning definately needed a big bang to it. So here it is.
Lyrec: Chapter One
The Pads and their Riders were few and far between. The Fire Maiden...