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Holiday advice

dude

dude

Member
everyone can contribute :whistling:


If you bring a certain "dish" to your family's holiday dinner every year and no one eats it but you, take that as a hint and stop making the crap. No one wants your asparagus banana bread, your raisin/cabbage/carrot shavings/mayonnaise vile concoction, your "southwest" jello mold, your sweet potato olive casserole or your chocolate mousse deviled eggs.

After dinner, don't stand around in your brother-in-law's kitchen and say "damn, thems a lotta dishes" and then walk back to the football game on tv.

Don't buy your wife a roomba. It's still a vacuum cleaner no matter how awesome it is to watch the cat run in terror from it.
 
Ooooh Ooooh, I've got one:

Food laws DO apply to you! Do not thaw a bird on your counter, then cook below 325 F all night. And definately refrigerate the leftovers immediately after the meal. Don't be a sap and leave them out on the table or counter for all day snacking.

Food poisoning makes a rotten gift for any occassion.
 
Do not make a gourmet gift basket out of odd tins left in your pantry from baskets received last year.

Do not give refurbished electronics as gifts.

When playing Santa: make sure you don't smell of take away tacos.

Stop tormenting your pet with those dopey antlers, red noses and other holiday headgear. After all, they don't make you wear used bones, the best part of the mouse or recently rolled in beach treasure.
 
If you decide to regift something (hey, there's nothing wrong with recycling), remember who gave it to you so you don't regift their gift back to them and remove the old To/From tags.
 
Occlith said:
If you decide to regift something (hey, there's nothing wrong with recycling), remember who gave it to you so you don't regift their gift back to them and remove the old To/From tags.
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Ah, you've met my mother-in-law then:lol:
Now that she's over 80, it's understandable that she might forget detail like who gave her what, but 20 years ago, she gave my toddler some toys he'd accidently left behind at her house. But this is the same woman who gave my ten year old daughter a pair of used & huge bright orange swim trunks and wondered why she was less than thrilled. I could go on; we have enough Grandma stories to fill a book.:whistling:

Bonus: Used, boiled underwear is NOT a nice gift.
 
If you are having guests over for dinner,make sure they don't have any food allergies.:whistling:
 
Libra said:
If you are having guests over for dinner,make sure they don't have any food allergies.:whistling:
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Good point Libra! The first time I ever served Kung Pao Chicken to guests, I dished it all onto the plates..first the rice, then the meat sauce, then the peanuts...One of my guests took one look at those peanuts and turned green. She was highly allergic to nuts. I learned to serve the components separately or to ask ahead of time about food allergies.
 
abecedarian said:
Good point Libra! The first time I ever served Kung Pao Chicken to guests, I dished it all onto the plates..first the rice, then the meat sauce, then the peanuts...One of my guests took one look at those peanuts and turned green. She was highly allergic to nuts. I learned to serve the components separately or to ask ahead of time about food allergies.
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One new years day I had 50 guests over,I had the shellfish on one corner,anything containing vinegar on another,god forbid there was vinegar in the fish...then dessert time...chocolate better not have touched other desserts.Scary,but I got through the night without knocking out anyone.:lol:
 
Libra said:
One new years day I had 50 guests over,I had the shellfish on one corner,anything containing vinegar on another,god forbid there was vinegar in the fish...then dessert time...chocolate better not have touched other desserts.Scary,but I got through the night without knocking out anyone.:lol:
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And I was freaking out when we had 25 for Thanksgiving one year:lol:

That was when we just had 6 kids, so the guests outnumbered us...


To get back to the topic at hand:

Don't set up the kid's table in the bathroom or garage. Not nice.
 
If you see "santa" on your roof,don't take away the ladder.:whistling: not nice,not nice at all..
 
Don't buy a real Christmas tree. There are few things on earth more flammable than a dry Christmas tree.
 
You have to love thanksgiving and christmas. It's only during the year that you can totally let loose with the pent up resentment and anger towards you and yours.:D
 
Eggnog should be enjoyed thoroughly since this is the only time of year you can get it.
 
What's eggnog?


And we always have a real Christmas tree. My cat used to climb in it, thus making it fall over.
 
Polly Parrot said:
What's eggnog?
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"Eggnog, also egg nog, is a sweetened dairy-based beverage made with milk, cream, sugar, beaten eggs (which gives it a frothy texture) and flavoured with ground cinnamon and nutmeg; alcoholic versions also exist with the addition of various liquors, such as brandy, rum, and whiskey.

Eggnog is a popular drink throughout The Americas, and is usually associated with winter celebrations such as Christmas and New Year. Eggnog has long been believed to be an excellent source of magnesium. Eggnog is also very popular in Central Europe[citation needed], but only its cognac version, which can be bought almost everywhere, mostly in Christmas-markets, during November and December. Commercially, non-alcoholic eggnog is available around Christmas time and during the winter."



It is good stuff.
 
Libra said:
"Eggnog, also egg nog, is a sweetened dairy-based beverage made with milk, cream, sugar, beaten eggs (which gives it a frothy texture) and flavoured with ground cinnamon and nutmeg; alcoholic versions also exist with the addition of various liquors, such as brandy, rum, and whiskey.

Eggnog is a popular drink throughout The Americas, and is usually associated with winter celebrations such as Christmas and New Year. Eggnog has long been believed to be an excellent source of magnesium. Eggnog is also very popular in Central Europe[citation needed], but only its cognac version, which can be bought almost everywhere, mostly in Christmas-markets, during November and December. Commercially, non-alcoholic eggnog is available around Christmas time and during the winter."


It is good stuff.
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I see. I feel enlightened now.
 
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