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- Thread starter Stewart
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David Frame
New Member
Zolipara and Shade
Thanks guys - much appreciated!!!
Thanks guys - much appreciated!!!
Honeybee
New Member
Not wishing to be pedantic or anything, but technically beer-mat is two words that are hyphenated. With recent moves towards amalgamating hyphenated words into one, it would acceptable to use beermat, but would still (technically) be wrong.Stewart said:Okay, I concede to the level that there are two ways to write it. I wish lunch hours lasted forever....
Motokid
New Member
Nobody is stopping you from being a member of this forum. Go ahead. Join in the conversations. Have a blast. There are thousands of threads you can get involved in. Or start your own.
I still have a problem with you selling something that is a work in progress. Regardless of how it affects the overall plot, you are not finished until you are finished, and the book should not be sold until it is completed. And just because you have spent a lot of time on it does not mean it’s worth other people paying you for it. You should be giving it away for free if you are looking for proofreaders, or paying people to proofread it. Not selling it to people. But that’s just my opinion. You are free to do as you please.
Spending a year writing a book is not a lot of time. I would suggest you take the book off lulu until you have it completely finished. Before you put it back on the market, so to speak, you should have it gone over with a fine tooth comb by some very educated and trustworthy people. You should let the book sit, untouched, and unedited by you for a few months minimum. Then come back and re-read and re-think everything you’ve done. Have a person who’s never read the story before, read it to you out loud. You’ll hear difficult passages, and other things you’ve never thought of before. Find a local book club and offer them free copies in return for honest, written reviews. Spend years refining your work, and don’t be in such a hurry. Haste makes waste is the saying right?
I still have a problem with you selling something that is a work in progress. Regardless of how it affects the overall plot, you are not finished until you are finished, and the book should not be sold until it is completed. And just because you have spent a lot of time on it does not mean it’s worth other people paying you for it. You should be giving it away for free if you are looking for proofreaders, or paying people to proofread it. Not selling it to people. But that’s just my opinion. You are free to do as you please.
Spending a year writing a book is not a lot of time. I would suggest you take the book off lulu until you have it completely finished. Before you put it back on the market, so to speak, you should have it gone over with a fine tooth comb by some very educated and trustworthy people. You should let the book sit, untouched, and unedited by you for a few months minimum. Then come back and re-read and re-think everything you’ve done. Have a person who’s never read the story before, read it to you out loud. You’ll hear difficult passages, and other things you’ve never thought of before. Find a local book club and offer them free copies in return for honest, written reviews. Spend years refining your work, and don’t be in such a hurry. Haste makes waste is the saying right?
leckert
New Member
David Frame said:
37.
David Frame said:
sure.
David Frame said:
that would be cool! (make checks payable to leckert!)
David Frame said:
I thought it was "apologize", with a "z"?
David Frame said:
I have plenty of this already... not sure if yours would be compatible. What blood type are you? (I'm O +).
David Frame said:
Mr. Strunk would say that this sentence is too wordy. It might be better to say "If nothing else, it has been a talking point for two days". (and, btw, "its" is misused here. If you meant "It has", you need an apostrophe, and "it's" is generally understood as a contraction of "it is". I would just spell out "it has".
David Frame said:
I'm sure some in this forum could get a little perspective. I am 6'4", 275lbs, and it is hard for me to get a little perspective. I will try walking on my knees for a while, and let you know how it goes.
David Frame said:
I have only three friends: Jenno-whats-her-name-spamzilla, SirMyk, and MotoKid. I have never met them! They do make me cringe frequently, though.
David Frame said:
I can barely control my bladder. Controlling my pals is out of the question.
David Frame said:
What was your name again?
(I am just butting in, trying to add some levity here. Please don't get upset at me! I will insert smilies here, to demonstrate my jocularity...
)David Frame
New Member
Thanks for the advice
I guess its each to their own. I am a writer without morals.
Seriously though, I am being open about the books status. As its stands, grammar withstanding in the odd place, its probably as good as I'm going to get it.
As I said before, I'm not promoting it anywhere other that a "lightweight" site that I'm not PERSONALLY pointing people towards. If people buy it, then they buy it. I'm not touting dodgy weight loss tablets over the net. And a year writing a book averaging about 45-hours a week in lunchbreaks, evenings and weekends is a fair amount of effort. Surely a book can't be judged on how long it toook to write. The lyrics of John Lennon being an example of this theory.
Again and for the last time, I apologise if my book being on Lulu or my presence on this site has offended you in anyway...and thats not sarcasm, I'm serious. I'm never out to piss anybody off!!!
I guess its each to their own. I am a writer without morals.
Seriously though, I am being open about the books status. As its stands, grammar withstanding in the odd place, its probably as good as I'm going to get it.
As I said before, I'm not promoting it anywhere other that a "lightweight" site that I'm not PERSONALLY pointing people towards. If people buy it, then they buy it. I'm not touting dodgy weight loss tablets over the net. And a year writing a book averaging about 45-hours a week in lunchbreaks, evenings and weekends is a fair amount of effort. Surely a book can't be judged on how long it toook to write. The lyrics of John Lennon being an example of this theory.
Again and for the last time, I apologise if my book being on Lulu or my presence on this site has offended you in anyway...and thats not sarcasm, I'm serious. I'm never out to piss anybody off!!!
David Frame
New Member
Leckert
Hi
Stating the exact opposite or taking points from an email and responding with a literal understanding is absolute comedy genius. You must be a riot at family do's, what with your height and jokes about your blood type.
Apologise with an s is the English spelling
Later tall dood!
Hi
Stating the exact opposite or taking points from an email and responding with a literal understanding is absolute comedy genius. You must be a riot at family do's, what with your height and jokes about your blood type.
Apologise with an s is the English spelling
Later tall dood!
Motokid
New Member
I'm not sure how open you are....if you were open, you might point out that the the book is not a finished work on the lulu.com website. As it stands now anybody coming across the book will assume it's a completed work. You might be open about it now, but only because your feet were over the fire....As it is, we would never have known the work was still "in process" had this almost comical thread not been started, which is only here because a friend of yours started this whole mess.
As for offendng me....there's a thread on that, but it's getting old having to constantly point people to it, so I'll let you search on the word "offended" over in the general chat area....
Quality is quality regardless of time spent...but you are the one who insists that the amount of money you are asking for your book is justifiable based on the time you spent working on it.
I for one am not a fan of John Lennon....
Have fun investigating this forum. There's way more here than you might imagine...now it's up to you to decide if you want to join in or not....
Have a Happy Thursday....
As for offendng me....there's a thread on that, but it's getting old having to constantly point people to it, so I'll let you search on the word "offended" over in the general chat area....
Quality is quality regardless of time spent...but you are the one who insists that the amount of money you are asking for your book is justifiable based on the time you spent working on it.
I for one am not a fan of John Lennon....
Have fun investigating this forum. There's way more here than you might imagine...now it's up to you to decide if you want to join in or not....
Have a Happy Thursday....
David Frame
New Member
Joining In...
I thought all this typing and replying stuff was joining in....
I'm not to sure about the feet over the fire stuff, forcing me to spill the beans on my criminal enterpise. I'm not a cornered animal looking for a way out, or as guilty as a puppy next to a fresh poo!
I'm not at my wits end wondering how I'll talk my way out of a non-existent situation with a guy I don't know (and I'll never meet) in a chat forum.
If I'd reached panic stage in this bizarre hot water you think I'm in, I could always just close my browser and the job would be done. Off the hook, scott free, the book feds won't get me now. For the hills I go!
C'mon mate, I don't tell you how to live your 'book' life. I thought discussion forums were about different points of view, not just telling you that your right and I'm wrong!
Just relax a little, people do things differently. I can't believe we are expelling this amount of energy on it. If it helps, the book is finished and you can read it at will. If its not your will then dont worry about it!
I thought all this typing and replying stuff was joining in....
I'm not to sure about the feet over the fire stuff, forcing me to spill the beans on my criminal enterpise. I'm not a cornered animal looking for a way out, or as guilty as a puppy next to a fresh poo!
I'm not at my wits end wondering how I'll talk my way out of a non-existent situation with a guy I don't know (and I'll never meet) in a chat forum.
If I'd reached panic stage in this bizarre hot water you think I'm in, I could always just close my browser and the job would be done. Off the hook, scott free, the book feds won't get me now. For the hills I go!
C'mon mate, I don't tell you how to live your 'book' life. I thought discussion forums were about different points of view, not just telling you that your right and I'm wrong!
Just relax a little, people do things differently. I can't believe we are expelling this amount of energy on it. If it helps, the book is finished and you can read it at will. If its not your will then dont worry about it!
David Frame
New Member
Comedy
I always go to family do's as my Gran is the one person that actually laughs at me when I take a shot at wit. That said, she is 86 and quite unaware of what the hells going on at the best of times.
I'm only 5ft7 so we should try a party together in the Arnie / Danny DeVito style.
Now THAT would be comedy genius!!
I always go to family do's as my Gran is the one person that actually laughs at me when I take a shot at wit. That said, she is 86 and quite unaware of what the hells going on at the best of times.
I'm only 5ft7 so we should try a party together in the Arnie / Danny DeVito style.
Now THAT would be comedy genius!!
Shade
New Member
David
Here are some thoughts on the surface of the chapters as I read them. I still think there are a lot of niggly clangers which may not be important in terms of the plot, but which (for me anyway, but then I'm a bit of a literary fusspot) snag on the eye and kind of keep reminding the reader that this is a piece of prose rather than a real scene to be immersed in. They also, I think, mark the difference between amateur writer and professional. Examples...
- Words like 'rolly' and 'micks' in Ch1 shouldn't be in inverted commas. The scene is from Mickey's point of view (even though it's third person), so these words are part of his normal vocabulary and don't need to be sanitised like this. The same goes for streetnames being italicised or draped in inverted commas (Falls Road, 'The Road'): no need for it.
- There are still a lot of minor word mistakes - like 'none existent' (should be non-existent) or 'stand still' (should be standstill). I don't know what you can do about those as they won't be picked up by Word, except maybe give the whole thing and a red pen to a spelling-keen friend to read.
- I didn't understand the sentence "There was something about this generation in that they had an immunity to be working work-shy unlike their younger career competitors." It's too messy.
- The iceberg line at the end of Ch1 still seems contrived.
- There are also several apostrophe problems: "the units intelligence chief," "1920's", "whose" for "who's", "divers torch" etc. I think others commented on how to fix this earlier.
- Cutesy terms like saying "the US of A" instead of "America" or the jokey comments in the narrative itself (eg "trying to hide a tan at a Ku Klux Klan rally" or the Anna Nicole Smith line, or "as appropriate as wearing a 'Hitler was misunderstood' T-shirt at a bar mitzvah") also stick out and make it seem somehow not to have the seriousness of its own convictions at heart. I would stick to leaving the jokes in the mouths of the characters: an omniscient narrative with amusing observations is hard to do unless you're Douglas Adams or Evelyn Waugh.
I'm sorry if this all seems negative; it's easier to point out what you don't like than what you do sometimes. I liked for example the paragraph on Patrick's mum's thoughts on the Orange Order, or the bit on Sheehan and Cullen's past in the IRA, and the dialogue is OK throughout. And the end of chapter 3 did make me want to read on...
Here are some thoughts on the surface of the chapters as I read them. I still think there are a lot of niggly clangers which may not be important in terms of the plot, but which (for me anyway, but then I'm a bit of a literary fusspot) snag on the eye and kind of keep reminding the reader that this is a piece of prose rather than a real scene to be immersed in. They also, I think, mark the difference between amateur writer and professional. Examples...
- Words like 'rolly' and 'micks' in Ch1 shouldn't be in inverted commas. The scene is from Mickey's point of view (even though it's third person), so these words are part of his normal vocabulary and don't need to be sanitised like this. The same goes for streetnames being italicised or draped in inverted commas (Falls Road, 'The Road'): no need for it.
- There are still a lot of minor word mistakes - like 'none existent' (should be non-existent) or 'stand still' (should be standstill). I don't know what you can do about those as they won't be picked up by Word, except maybe give the whole thing and a red pen to a spelling-keen friend to read.
- I didn't understand the sentence "There was something about this generation in that they had an immunity to be working work-shy unlike their younger career competitors." It's too messy.
- The iceberg line at the end of Ch1 still seems contrived.
- There are also several apostrophe problems: "the units intelligence chief," "1920's", "whose" for "who's", "divers torch" etc. I think others commented on how to fix this earlier.
- Cutesy terms like saying "the US of A" instead of "America" or the jokey comments in the narrative itself (eg "trying to hide a tan at a Ku Klux Klan rally" or the Anna Nicole Smith line, or "as appropriate as wearing a 'Hitler was misunderstood' T-shirt at a bar mitzvah") also stick out and make it seem somehow not to have the seriousness of its own convictions at heart. I would stick to leaving the jokes in the mouths of the characters: an omniscient narrative with amusing observations is hard to do unless you're Douglas Adams or Evelyn Waugh.
I'm sorry if this all seems negative; it's easier to point out what you don't like than what you do sometimes. I liked for example the paragraph on Patrick's mum's thoughts on the Orange Order, or the bit on Sheehan and Cullen's past in the IRA, and the dialogue is OK throughout. And the end of chapter 3 did make me want to read on...
leckert
New Member
Honeybee said:
The Yanks win one! (not something heard a lot this year! (baseball reference)).
Do's in the Eckert family consist of my two brothers and I sitting at the parents's dinner table listening to dad tell us how much better he would have done whatever it is we did, or why we shouldn't have done it, or (fill in disparaging remark here). But he loves the grand children, and Mom is pretty cool! My brothers and I usually just get drunk and play StarCraft anyway!
Motokid
New Member
David Frame said:
yep...that's exactly what we are doing...having a discussion...it just so happens we have different views on how, when, and why we would take other peoples hard earned money.
Awesome multi-tasking...it's impressive that you can sit here for hours, watching and replying to this thread, AND complete your book all at the same time. So I assume that any of the things Shade has mentioned can not, or will not be fixed since you are done?
I'm not expending tons of energy and I'm very relaxed...I'm having fun...and I'm not worried at all....
I wish you the best of luck....really I do.
<----note the smilie....David Frame
New Member
Many Thanks
Thanks Shade...I guess these are the things I miss when I've been looking at the same words for so long - no perspective at all.
I atke your amount about putting the funny lines as character speak instead of in thgird person narrative.
Appreciate the positive comments as well.
Cheers
Thanks Shade...I guess these are the things I miss when I've been looking at the same words for so long - no perspective at all.
I atke your amount about putting the funny lines as character speak instead of in thgird person narrative.
Appreciate the positive comments as well.
Cheers
David Frame
New Member
Multi-tasking
Let's just take one thing at a time here Motokid!
I can write or spell, rarely both (or either if I was being really self-analysing)
Let's just take one thing at a time here Motokid!
I can write or spell, rarely both (or either if I was being really self-analysing)