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You Make Me Sick(PIC) Religion.
- Thread starter Disenthral
- Start date
SFG75
Well-Known Member
Just invite them in and offer them a nice cold Diet Coke and one of your best cigars...
I read your line quickly before I realized what we were discussing and thought; "Now that sounds good!" That would be a heck of a plan abec-I'll have to do that. I'll have a few clipped and ready by my upstairs desk in the humidor....lying in wait.
abecedarian
Well-Known Member
This picket holding people are over God I guess, or have spoken to him and know excacly what he has asked of them.
I've read the Book several times and I don't recall ever seeing anything that says we're supposed to make hateful signs or otherwise torment those who don't follow somebody's(usually a man-made) script. He must have a different version I suppose.
Oh, and he must not have seen the part about "whoever is guilty of one part of the Law is guilty of them all."
SFG75
Well-Known Member
Being a Canuck, Cubans are legal for your husand. If he ventures into the states, then it's entirely a different story as we all know, the embargo will work any day now.
Tell him to enjoy them for me, I'm envious of the Cohibas and Trinidads that he is enjoying as I can't.
Some day, a pro-American generalissimo will take over and life will be good again.Joderu:
I'll defend sport's nuts to the death.
Celtics are up 2-0. . . please pass the nuts.
At the risk of a cliché, I don't dislike Roman Catholics – I dislike Roman Catholicism (and most certainly the leadership of the Catholic church), but then again, I'm completely consistent in that I dislike all religions.
In recent months, I've had a couple of experiences of waiting for a bus near my home, only to be met with an onslaught of evangelism, starting from the innocent: 'what a nice day it is' (the English do love to discuss the weather). They seem to have a great deal of difficulty in comprehending something as simple as: 'I am not interested'. I can shut the door when either the JWs or the evangelicals knock.
Isabell
Active Member
I'm hit up by the mormons every three months or so. Since my neighborhood is next to their church. Next time they come a-knocking, just tell them that you'll give them 15 minutes of your undivided attention if they are willing to show you their sacred undergarments. That'll guarantee they will never knock again having put your address on the "Do-Not-Knock-List" at the church office.
Disenthral
Member
That OR i find it helpful to listen to what they are saying then slowly take their hands, rubbing them very gently and lovingly looking deep into their eyes with a menacing smile.
creepy
unless they seem to enjoy that, then youre screwed...
i have a shirt from a band called Nausea.And the logo is a crown of thorns with a peace sign in the middle and jesus upside down in it. And i came across some mormons and didnt think anything of it and tried walking around while looking down. and they actually stopped me and said "do you enjoy being pathetic?" i was shocked ....i must have gave a somewhat angry look cause they walked away before i could even respond. ....i found it odd.
FoxxyDeda
New Member
I think I got our house on the "Do-not-knock" list when a couple of JW (or maybe they were mormons?) came to my door and the first question was something like: "Do you know the word of the Lord" and I just plain said "Yes. I have read and heard it but I don't believe in anything". They were so thrown by me just saying "I don't believe" that they didn't know what to do. They kept asking, "but you do believe there is a god and our savior Jesus" and "the bible is the word of god" and things like that and I just said "actually NO, I don't believe"
huahauhauhauhauhaua.... they looked so pathetic I had to really hold on not to laugh. In the end they just made some excuse and went away. Haven't had one knock since!
They must have marked my house with a red sign saying "beware of the dammed" or something...
joderu95
New Member
I can't imagine anyone should have a problem with that. Disenthral, you're so anti-establishment. It's just awesome.
Litany
Active Member
Last year a couple of women knocked on the door, and one of them looked familiar so I gave them a smile. They said 'Hello' and I was just about to reply when I caught a glimpse of 'Jesus' written on what they were carrying. Before they could speak I'd already said 'Ugh' and shut the door on them.
That was on the Saturday. On Monday, back at work, I finally worked out where it was I knew the woman from. And she was everywhere with this beatific smile on her face. I didn't ever have to deal with her and I'm brazen anyway so all was well. A couple of months later I found her crying in the kitchen. Turns out she'd been fired.
The moral of the story? Don't come knocking on my bloody door trying to sell me God or I will set the universe on you.
That was on the Saturday. On Monday, back at work, I finally worked out where it was I knew the woman from. And she was everywhere with this beatific smile on her face. I didn't ever have to deal with her and I'm brazen anyway so all was well. A couple of months later I found her crying in the kitchen. Turns out she'd been fired.
The moral of the story? Don't come knocking on my bloody door trying to sell me God or I will set the universe on you.
abecedarian
Well-Known Member
Aside from Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesss, I don't think Evangelicals do much neighborhood canvassing anymore. If we do, it's usually geared around a specific event we want to invite people to or a youth group activitiy like a scavenger hunt or asking for donations for an event like 30 Hour Famine. I live in a small town where people aren't so afraid to send their kids around like that..in a larger city, no way. In the 14 years I've lived here, I can only think of one church that sent adults around, and that was to invite people to a revival. They weren't pushy..just very friendly, outgoing folks. Nowadays, they send out mass mailings of their newsletter so the disinterested can just file them away at will.
He seems to be OK with regular homosexuals though.
Occlith
Well-Known Member
Poor wretch, he's inconsistent with his sickness inducing list.
Lazy non-Christians are okay, as are killers of adults, Catholics who live anywhere except Rome, liars of any religion except Pentecostal, gay men on bikes, and child molesting heterosexuals.
Lazy non-Christians are okay, as are killers of adults, Catholics who live anywhere except Rome, liars of any religion except Pentecostal, gay men on bikes, and child molesting heterosexuals.
Just the universe? No sporks?Litany said:
Litany
Active Member
I would have given her a sporking if she knocked again, as it was she recognised my Awesome Power at the door and left without argument.
I must admit to muttering 'Where's your god now?' when she got fired.
Disenthral
Member
hahaha
i imagine "muttering 'Where's your god now?' " can only be accomplished while standing just out of sight in shadows with a cloak over your head showing just enough of your mouth to see what youre saying.